Monday, November 7, 2016

Can You Have Casual Sex Without Feelings?


Sex is a slippery little beast, isn’t it? Casual sex is sort of a great idea you have for an life's project - you can picture it perfectly in your head, but when you actually sit down to do it, it never looks exactly how you thought it would.

The casual sex, friends with benefits, the booty call...  The terminology has changed over time, but with so many terms, what exactly means casual sex?

First, I don't know how you feel about dating and do you date at all. Maybe you are happily married, which I doubt because there is no such thing.

I'm not the type of person who has regrets. I've made many mistakes in my lifetime, I've never dwelled on them; but my marriage - my marriage is the one mistake I regret making. Now ... I would like that I have never met my ex.

There is no destination... There is no journey. There is only this moment, the present moment of my life and yes, I am in a relationship with the Dreamer, knowing well that this relationship has no future. The Dreamer is similar to me, personality-wise: self-aware and straightforward. She is a separatee and dating her is not a fun thing.

I like her, I respect her opinions and I listen carefully her stories about career, interest, friends and family. I don't agree with all that she say or do, but I try to honor her opinions. I am honest, fair, kind, and considerate with her. Is that love?

I'm not looking for a long term relationship because I live in the present moment and for me there is nothing like a "long term" ideal. Also, I'm not so nice guy to date. I know what I want, I am extremely aggressive and selfish. On top of that, I'm short tempered and highly prone to breaking up. I don't think twice before the breakup. I strongly believe that nice guys finish last.

Nice guys are busy being nice; they don't have self-respect; dating a nice guy leads to a marriage. The Dreamer already leads busy, boring, predictable life, she needs someone who is exciting and a bit unpredictable.

Knowing well that there is no happily ever after with the Dreamer, I really enjoy the absence of unnecessary philosophy. It is simple. We date because we enjoy sex. What's wrong with it? Relationships are about having sex. And sex always comes with a price.

We met accidently, I am not still sure how that happened, was she looking for a boyfriend, a one-night stand, or a revenge fuck, I am not sure. It started as a casual sex. Now I have to admit I do have feelings for her and have thought that there might be something more between us other than just sex. Oh well, scratch that. I am just kidding.

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.