Monday, November 14, 2016

I want to melt the ice with my ass

The first thing I do in the morning after waking up is to check weather forecast. I am waiting for  the snow and ice. I don't like winter but I need snow for my daily yoga practice.

I'm practicing yoga because I want to melt the ice with my ass.

Have you ever seen how great yogis sit in the snow and how the snow around them melts away from the intense heat they produce in their meditation? I want to do the same! It is my life's goal.

At present I have no snow to practice with. Only what I have is the ice from the fridge. I tired this morning on my balcony. I sit on the ice and what can I tell you. There is a great movement in the right direction. After only 5 minutes, my underwear was completely wet.

It is obvious that my yoga practice creates necessary mental and physical energy which melts the ice under my butt. It is true, yoga is a tool for awakening. Yoga is spiritual practice - physical, emotional and mental.

Sitting in the snow carries life changing scientifically proven benefits such as increasing my levels of harmony, it makes me more in tune, raises my frequency; the snow makes me more yogi - like, repairs my karma, helps me be more centered. Of course, the wet underwear it’s not just for show off, it helps me getting sober from last night - it reminds me that my life is full of abundance.

The length of time I sit on ice is based of what will impress others. The length of time I tell people how long I sit on the ice is loosely correlated of how long I actually sit. It is not necessary correlated - it is what I tell the people not what I do, that impressing them. Oh well, impressing them... well, it is not about really "impressing" at all, it is rather informing them that I'm the better person than them.

If I meditate and nobody sees the picture of it, did I really meditate? No I didn't. So, I have learned how to strategically post my yoga and meditation pictures on facebook, pinterest, twitter and google +.  Writing blog about this is crucial. But there is only one thing more boring than reading about my practice... that's reading other yoga blogs talking about their practice. It sounds illogical but reading how I sit quietly and peacefully for an hour on the ice is interesting to them but for me reading them talking about their practice is torture.

I don't care if yoga is religion or not. I don't do chanting although I might add that in the daily schedule. Prayers no. I think it is too dangerous to do prayers. What if they are answered?

The rest of the 2016 is all about concentration, meditation and samadhi... and the union with God, eternal Bliss.

You know what, I need more ice.

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