Friday, November 18, 2016

Just like you I am fucked up too


Look, I'm not going to bullshit here, neither you nor myself. I'm living my wonderful life the way I always have, thinking, "man, I'm better than others." And then, today, out of the blue, I'm having a horrifying realization that I'm not a cool masterpiece of polished personality, that I'm just some old boring parent, an annoying neighbour, tired computer programmer, an asshole yogi... or whatever.

There was no warning when this realization happened. I simply realized that I'm fucked up just like anyone else.

I think I'm confident and intelligent. I’ve proven that I am. I’ve spent countless hours training my body and mind through hardships and learning. I’ve stretched the abilities of my brain through teaching my my daily computer programming work, spiritual book reading, observing others, nutrition, exercise, yoga, quiet walking, etc. I’ve done a lot and I'm naturally good at almost everything I attempt.

I don’t throw that in the faces’ of others, but I won’t hold back either. I was a very motivated and determined individual. I did care about my honor, accomplishments, and my values. I was very passionate about my values.

But I have never hit that magical point where I figured out exactly what I really want to do with my life. When I turned around I was 51 years old and I see that my life looks like bubble gum. I have no clue what I'm doing, so I embarrass myself, often repeatedly.

I am not happy with my life. I'm old and I feel it, the skin changed, wrinkles, gray hair, belly fat, high blood pressure, tiredness... you name it, have started to show up and they won't go away. As Don Juan said the last enemy of the Man of Knowledge, the old age, is closing on me. But, I am not going to give up so easily.

I'm feeling motivated to eat better, exercise more, drink less... Making a lifestyle change is challenging. As of today I am announcing the changes in my life. The changes are a process that require careful monitoring. I'm ready to make these changes, I'm committing to do it, I have no other choice.

1. Drink one cup of coffee, only in the morning. 

That means I will stop drinking a coffee after 9 AM. Eventually I will get rid of the morning coffee too.

2. No more refined carbohydrates in my diet. 

I'll be very careful not to eat the processed food. I will not eat: tacos, wraps, pizza, croissants, pasta, muffins, pastries, bagels, white bread, pretzels, doughnuts, cookies, biscuits, cakes, white rice, wheat, candy, sweets, potato chips, batter, pastry, desserts, jams, soft drinks, sodas and sugary drinks.

3. Maximum two beers. 

I will stop drinking more than 2 beers. The challenge will be going out to the bars and clubs with my friends but for the beginning I'll avoid going there. The alcohol keeps my belly fat intact. And I'll save money too.

4. Regular, daily ashtanga yoga practice. 

 I need to return to 6 days a week, 60 minutes, half primary, practice.

5. Daily gym exercises. 

30 minutes, stomach and upper body one day and stomach and legs another day... 5 days a week, Saturday and Sunday will be rest days.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.