Sunday, December 4, 2016

Being busy doing nothing


My vacation is finished. I did not work on Thursday and Friday. I was busy doing nothing.

How many times you tell you are busy and have too much to do? Are you actually busy doing nothing like me? You know the nothing that I am talking about - watching hours the Facebook feed, looking at TV, browsing the news, or playing with the phone, sending text messages to your also busy friends.

And this is what I was doing all these days.

Only the Dreamer changed my usual busy routine. She was with me on Wednesday night, and Friday night. Yesterday she came around 9 p.m. and we went to Reservoir Lounge. We were with friends and the music was great, we danced. She went home at 2:30 a.m. I felt so tired and only what I wanted is to go to sleep...

This morning I woke up at 7 a.m., just 4 hours of sleep. I lead yoga class at my friends place. We started at 9 a.m.. There were 9 of us and the practice was excellent although we did not do strengthening poses. After the practice we went to sauna and I had breakfast with my fiend.

I came home around noon, tired and sleepy, went directly to bed and slept 3 hours. And then I continue to do nothing. I tell myself that it’s okay to do nothing and that I deserve some dozing off during a day but I really don’t believe that is the right way of living. I want others to believe that I am as busy (just as they are), so I distract myself with these mindless, bullshit tasks.

Modern life does not allow idleness and laziness. No one ever say - I wasn’t doing anything. It looks and feels better to be doing something. Unfortunately, you tend to equate being busy with being alive. If you’re fully living your life, you must be doing something... anything. Being busy gives you a sense of importance and value. When you’re doing something you feel you matter... until you look deeper at what you’re actually doing.

Except my yoga practice I have realized that most of the time I am not doing anything. I am a fake busy guy. I have a false sense of productivity and purpose. I plunge into an useless activity without thinking about the outcome. I only realize when I'm done that I see time has passed and I run to another useless activity.

I have an amazing ability to justify my actions. The post I am writing today is sharing with you my idiotic behaviour. This is an exercise that I need to do for myself with a main goal to become aware of my behavior. I can’t change something until I know what it is and take responsibility for it. From here I can move in a different direction.

My dear,

Know that doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.

For while you are doing nothing you at least recognize that nothing is being accomplished.

While being busy – doing nothing, showers upon you the delusion that you are actually accomplishing something. Being busy – doing nothing, allows you the leeway to say “I am busy,” when in reality you’re not, you’re just moving around frantically.

Being busy doing nothing is comparable to moving without a purpose.

Sure, you are expanding a great deal of energy, but for what?

Stop being busy my dear.

Falsely yours,

Lao Tzu

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.