Friday, December 30, 2016

Delusions Mr. Anderson

So long 2016!!! The last post in this year... I am still writing this blog declaring my deep commitment to awake while doing everything possible to remain in sleep. I might say I want to wake up, but it is apparent that I have weird notion of what to be "awake" means. Well, it might involve anything so long as it does not disturb my sleep.

To awaken means to realize one's nothingness, that is to realize one's complete and absolute mechanicalness and one's complete and absolute helplessness. And it is not sufficient to realize it philosophically in words. It is necessary to realize it in clean, simple, and concrete facts, in one's own life. - Gurdjieff 

Is it extremely melancholy to realize that nothing has any intrinsic meaning, that life is essentially meaningless? I think it is, and it is dangerous. Existential Nihilism!!! It takes courage to live life understanding that no matter what you might accomplish, all will disappear like smoke in the air; that no matter what service you might attempt to perform, it's all useless. Not only that, but the very fact that everything is insignificant and nothing has any intrinsic meaning doesn't mean anything either.

Obviously, in 2016, I did not discover my own nothingness. I still take myself as something. I still believe in this world... but when I turn around I see this wonderful civilization for what really is. All pretense at decency and morality are still in place. The masks of kindness, love and compassion are here too... This whole ego based, money-driven society is full of shit. Pardon my vulgarity.

This might come as a surprise to you, but it is more likely that you simply refuse to see it. And you don't see it not because it is hidden but because you don't want to see it. All things around you, what you take for granted, your day-to-day existence is largely a product of your imagination. Your memory, opinions and beliefs, how you see yourself and others and even your sense of being free, are not as they seem. Delusions!

The power these delusions hold over us is staggering, yet, it is necessary to help us function in the world. The world is supported by our "sleep" and the nature does not want us to "wake up".

Do you think “wake up” are two superfluous words? Obviously you're reading this, you're “not asleep.”  And that is, in fact, how dictionaries define “awake.” But my usage is far more subtle.

Man is asleep but doesn't know it. So deep is his hypnotic slumber that he does his daily walking and talking, his legislating and marrying in a state of unconsciousness. Actually, the acts are the mechanical acts of hypnotized people... - Gurdjieff 

Each of us undertakes a journey to awakening in one and the same way. You draw unique experiences into your life in order to learn only one thing - that you were wrong about it. You gain knowledge about falseness of everything. Your uniqueness, mission, purpose, experience and understanding... Well, if we're talking about awakening, all that is delusion!

If you want to develop spiritually or grow closer to God, or go to Heaven, or raise your consciousness, or get enlightenment, obtain liberation - in short, if you are moving, progressing and you feel that you growing up, well, that is the essence of your "sleep". You are considering yourself to be a process, to have past and future, to have history, to keep progressing somewhere...

Growing, moving, progressing, evolving. Heart, Love, Peace, Bliss. Be nice and say you're sorry when you done wrong and your loving God won't cook your ass. Your hope for transcendental bliss, cosmic consciousness, kundalini awakening, supreme love... all delusions!

To destroy the delusions, you must question your beliefs. Of these the idea that you are the body with the consciousness is the worst. With the body comes the world, with the world - God, who is supposed to have created the world and thus it starts - fears, religions, bondage, spirituality, practice, sacrifices, all sorts of systems - all to protect and support "you", frightened out of your wits by monsters of your own making.

I am not here to make things right for you. What I know for sure? Nothing.

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