Three Pillars of Misery


I was hoping that from 419 likes of this blog I may get 420 but it failed to 417. In last two days, two people disliked or un-liked my blog. That may happened for various reasons but who cares.

I have noticed that I have regular readers of this blog who actually do not care what I am writing here. They're coming day by day on these pages just to see what is happening in my life, maybe thinking that we are in some kind of connection or whatever.

I encourage anyone who liked my blog but does not read my articles to unlike it. And vice-versa. If you like what are you reading then like the zmark.ca page. I think that is fair.

In fact, I do not need anyone of you, you can read it or not but be honest... 419 or 417 or 380 what a difference anyway? I am not paid for this blog and number of likes does not make any difference.

Last night, I went with my girlfriend to my friends house and we had a dinner. We had a great time and we enjoyed music and barbecue. She left early this morning for work. I slept until 9 am and then logged in to my job. I have finished all my tasks and I will not start anything new.

The truth is I have nothing to do. I have no ambition, nowhere to go, no one to be or become. I don't need to distract myself from anything or convince myself of anything. There is nothing that I think isn't as it should be, and I have no interest in how you see me. I have nothing to guide me except my own comfort or discomfort. I don't seem to be too bored or unhappy about it.

When you think of happiness, you often mean the experience of wonderful emotions like joy or delight. You may consider a relief to be happiness too. Or well-being, or the experience of contentment combined with a sense that your life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile...

Delusions Mr. Anderson! Temporary construct of human intellect desperately trying to make sense of his meaningless existence.

Joy, delight, relief, well-being, contentment are the building blocks of you as an individual but you don't recognize it. Your very search for these things makes you unhappy. As a consequence of the search your happiness is a temporary state of mind between two sorrows.

The search for happiness is the first pillar of misery.

You believe happiness is reliant upon the acquisition of something new or something different. You are constantly chasing, but never attaining. Often times, you search for it in all the wrong places...

Of course, my primary goal in writing this is to help myself cultivate happiness in my life!  If I just for a second forget problems and pay attention to writing these words I am, just for a moment, a little bit happier then before. And if I laugh while I'm writing my posts, that is even better.

I experience delight when I create new post and watch visitor stats increase. Yes, my writing is a source of inspiration, joy, gratitude, and hope. Sometimes I write a new post with great expectation that my readers, my colleagues, family, and friends will like it. And then I get disappointed because my post hit hard bottom in click-number.

The second pillar of misery is expectation. 

I became aware that my writing and thinking skills, and my creativity, sarcasm, and humor are not what I think to be. I need to keep in perspective everything. Well, everything, but particularly the bad things, the frustrating things, and the irritating things. They will protect me from expectations.

What I expect significantly influences how I'll perceive circumstances. The things are as they are, emotionally neutral if I don’t explicitly set out expectations.

Take a moment to consider your own view of happiness.

Is happiness more of a fleeting emotion or permanent state of your being?  At the end of the day, you deserve a life full of positive well-being, goodness, meaning, and worth. That’s what happiness is all about. But if you look at others and compare yourself to them you'll never find satisfaction.

Looking into others and comparing yourself to them is the third pillar of misery. 

You are conditioned to mirror yourself against other people, to seek happiness in relationships. Realize that people are not things to fulfill your void. Their job is not to make you happy – they are probably struggling with the same problems just as hard as you.

You look at others thinking they are enjoying their lives and at the same time achieving something. You're not jealous, but sometimes you just feel sorry about yourself that you work really hard but without much difference. Stop all of that. Comparing yourself to other people will only add to your misery.

Ask yourself Are you miserable because of your circumstances, or are your circumstances miserable because of you?