Friday, January 13, 2017

I wrote this for you


What you are thinking of as "awake" - some intense new passion for a worthy cause or a deep feeling of love for all existence, is actually the deep sleep, much deeper than a feeling of boredom or indifference. It is an intense association with the Illusion. The bored and the indifferent are on the verge of leaving the lure of the temptress Maya behind, no longer swayed by her shiny attractions. They are on the verge of waking.

~ Shri Sadguru Siddharameshwar Maharaj

It is just matter of time, at some point you will conclude that there is nothing great about the world you live in. Whether this is inspired by a death of close relative or friend, loss of job, divorce, the "awe-inspiring" boredom, or a breakup of relationship, at that moment you will start wondering what is your life all about.

This post isn't going to give you the big secret of life. You've been told since childhood that being a grown-up is awesome. And maybe now that you're an adult, you're still waiting for the awesome part. You are still running around chasing a successful career, catching the opportunity to become boss, manager, senior analyst while sleeping four or five hours a day... Good luck to you.

You spend your days, without time to relax always watching the clock, wishing the morning away so you could go to lunch, wishing the afternoon away so you could go home. Never happy, always busy and tired and preparing for the next thing. Weekends are actually worse because that's when everything that didn't get done during the week had to be done. Cleaning, shopping, kid's stuff.

Life suffering is necessary, you suffer until you realize that suffering is not necessary. 

All your beliefs, concepts, all thoughts, they are false, just imagination. And not only your beliefs but also your education and religion, spiritual understanding, life philosophy, your ideas and opinions. Everything is a bull. What about meaning of your life? Your existence is utterly, perfectly, gloriously meaningless. Truth is infinitely simple, your beliefs are infinitely complex.

Money, power, prestige, high heels, fashioned hairstyle, sure whatever defines you, however you describe yourself, think of yourself, project yourself... every feature, every trait, characteristic, feeling, belief, opinion, all of it... self-ness, it is all worthless. Just an empty costume.

I've stopped comparing myself to you. I've stopped competition with you. I've stop following you. I don't judge you simply, I'm not interested of what you do in this world. You have evolved in one side only, growing in social area without any comparable growth in self-knowledge. This created your feeling of being lonely, temporary visitor in the universe.

You are driven by greed for material objects and fear of being hungry, your religion sucks, your philosophy is dead. I'm not saying you need a new religion. You do not need a new Christ. You need a new experience of what it is to be "you". Your common sensation of self is a hoax. You are dreaming, you are hypnotized.

You will notice that you just talk and talk because it gives you pleasure, or fills your time. Your talk, imagination, lying and expressing negativity are in fact your main characteristics, the walls of your prison. You must see it for yourself in order to do anything about it.

I don't expect you to accept anything that I'm saying here. You can reject my words because they do not fit into your life philosophy. Whatever. But I want to tell you, I'm moving away from your brighter future and better tomorrow. I'm running away from whatever makes you feel good and whatever boosts your self esteem, tells you you are okay, tells you everything is just fine the way it is. I'm going my own way.

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.