Wednesday, February 8, 2017

A blog is an illusion existing only when you are reading it


At the end of 2012 I started blogging and I made a commitment to publish one blog post per day. I deleted the Exploring Dreamstate blog on Sunday, September 25, 2016. There are several reasons why I have done it: First and foremost, I don't want certain people to read my blog anymore. By reading it they are making a connection between us which I don't want to keep. Second, I made myself a way too public so some people got carried away with the following of my life. Third, I could not express myself fully; I've started lying on my own blog, writing what people want to read instead of reporting my life as it is. Fourth, I want to look at my life as an observer, from the outside, to have a better understanding of where I am.

zmark.ca is here for myself to give me orientation for the future and a retrospective of the past making me aware of the present. It is my motivation for daily yoga practice. It is also a place where I can describe my life as it is, my inner thoughts without being afraid of what others think.

I will be writing in my own words maintain blog's professional look and feel. There are no more "My Dear readers" and there is no comment section on the posts. The Exploring Dreamstate posts are deleted, no reminder of the past. I blog about awakening, spirituality, yoga and daily life. I also write about experiences in my relationships and online dating. If you don't follow my blog but you just read one or two articles you might wonder what I'm actually writing about. To be quite honest I'm just having a fun.

According to a well-known theory in quantum physics, a blog post changes depending on whether there is an reader or not. It basically suggests that blog is a kind of illusion and exists only when you are looking at it.

I received a Facebook message from a reader of my blog:

A blog is a lot of work. I understand no comments. But I also think sharing is valuable and that striving for insights is worthy. It's not all a meaningless joke. If you really believed that you wouldn't bother with a public blog. Sometimes you are off the wall and marinating in your own shit -like the rest of us- but other times your honesty is real and insightful. Both are appreciated. Thanks.  And please don't respond! 😆 - Sean

Thank you Sean for kind words. How do people, successful or otherwise, live their life? Everyone has assumed a certain image of himself. "I am so and so" - an image or a pose is behind their actions. That pose is acting. That image has been taken by their concepts about themselves. Whatever goes in the world is based on concepts.

After writing a blog for almost 5 years I came to realization that what we think we are living is not true, we are actually just being lived. Whatever we may think we have understood, whatever is our knowledge, it is all bullshit. Pardon my vulgarity. All teachings, practices, instructions are ideas. A grand idea is that we are growing up, becoming better and wiser, and we have come this way, that way. There are numerous people who told us this but all that is hearsay!

When we move around the world, "living our life", implementing various advices from different people and teachings, various techniques, methods what we study, and then we settle down to a certain conclusion. When we come to conclusion, what happens to us really? We remain the same, but we don't realize that our struggle is not necessary at all.

No advice is ever necessary. There is no change in ourselves whatsoever. We are only moving in ignorance, as long as we don't see our own acting, our life has no meaning. To become more and more convinced, to get more understanding about the falseness of ourselves, life and the world, at the same time means to get more understanding of our true nature, and that is the only thing that matters.

Thanks again Sean. Stay well. I am starting my yoga practice now and then I will go to work. I have packed my things and tonight, the Dreamer is coming to my place.  We are going to Montego Bay for vacation tomorrow, early in the morning...


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