Friday, February 24, 2017

Goodbye You Little Shit



Hope you are not doing well!

It's me writing to you; I'm 52 now, so many things I would like to say to you but I don’t want to lecture you, I know how much you hate that, but fuck you, I’ll say what I have to say. I am pissed off on you, and believe me, swearing helps. There is no use in keeping things in head. The best thing to do is to say it.

All these years, I have closely observed you and I've seen what you really are.

You are a piece of shit, little "me"!

You plead for happiness, but security means everything to you. Since you have never learned to be happy, to enjoy and play in life, you lack the courage and integrity.

Let me tell you, my little "me", what kind of shit you are?

You read books, listen to to the radio, and you pretend that you are spiritual being but you are unaware of your abysmal stupidity and your bad taste. Listen...

Every single "I" of your composition throws a light on the wretchedness of my existence. Every one of your petty "I"s diminishes the hope of realizing true value of my life. It is just ground for my sorrow, little "me", for deep, heartbreaking sorrow.

Sometimes you might sound cynical, but you are not. The fact is, it doesn't matter what kind of person you are, your shitty characteristics tend to come to the forefront whenever I act... You want to be perfect, but I cannot rely on you. Telling what you don’t know makes you liar. You're lazier than you would ever admit. You're so selfish than you would ever admit. You're vain than you would ever admit. You're insecure than you would ever admit. Despite all that, you secretly think you're a better person than most people. I believe that most of what’s wrong in my life is your fault. It really is all about you.
Have you ever listened closely to a nightclub entertainer jokes about you? About you and the whole wretched world you have created. You hear a joke about you and you join in the laughter. You don't laugh because you appreciate humor at your own expense. You laugh at the joke without suspecting that you are laughing at yourself, that the joke is on you.

Why have you been laughed at so heartily, so openly, so maliciously, down through all these years?

I will tell you why little shit, because I take you seriously, very seriously: you miss the truth in your thinking. You think more about what others think about you than about who you really are. Forget about your neighbor, little "me" and look inside yourself! Your neighbor, too, will be grateful. Tell to me that you're no longer willing to work for death but only for life.

You're nothing, little piece of shit! Nothing whatever! Unfortunately, You have built my life, without knowledge of what you're building. You have built a prison for me.

I'm not you, little "me", and I haven't the faintest idea what you really are. I don't even know how to define you.  In view of all this, fuck off, little "me".

I will serve you no more, I refuse to let my concern for you torture me slowly to death. You can't follow me to the distant places I'm bound for. You'd be scared to death to know what the future has in store for me - because undoubtedly you're in the process of dying, little "me"! And I am not sorry for you.

I'll stop hiding behind your stupid stories little "me". No matter who I am, there are times when I get a hint that I am not you. Even if it is only in a dream, there is a part of me which is infinity. I am not you little "me"! Goodbye you little shit.

Sincerely;

Fuck off!

Zee

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.