Monday, February 6, 2017

Such egomania! So horrendous. But fascinating!


I'm going to Montego Bay in two days and until then I will do yoga practice every single day. Ha, I am joking. đŸ˜‰Nothing else to do. During the weekend I've built yet another blog layout. Please see my blog on desktop and you will be amazed how it looks. Thank you. It is best viewed with screen resolution of 1100 pixels and up. Yesterday I finished this layout and I am satisfied at the moment. Of course, I am proud of my web design abilities. Such egomania! So horrendous. But fascinating!

It is Monday night, my daughter is with me. The Dreamer visited me on Friday evening, she did not stay long, she had the kids over the weekend so I was free to build the blog layout. I'm divorced, in a month or so I will be a 52-year-old man, living alone. My daily schedule revolves around yoga, work at the office and in the last couple of months, spending time with the Dreamer. I used to go out regularly... Dirty Martini at Oakville, downtown Pravda, Reservoir Lounge are the clubs I liked to visit. Not anymore.

I'm also completely inactive on match.com. I have stopped online dating thing. In the last three years I have met a lot of women there. Dinners, glass of wine and usual stories about divorce, kids, relationship wishes, love for travel, online dating experiences and other stories are my past.

So these days, most of the time I am alone. The best part about it is that you really don't have to answer to anybody. If you're reading this so far, you're probably really bored and, at the moment, have no one to be with. Don't panic, it is a good thing, being alone is a not so bad place to be, besides the sense of boredom, or the feelings of isolation, you are being forced to confront your own thoughts. It's said... there is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Huhh, don't try to figure out the meaning of such empty phrases. Being alone is what you make of it.

Most people are not alone but they are living a life in quiet desperation; they worry, oooh, how they worry, twenty-six hours a day! And what do you think they worry about?... They worry about their shitty life! What about me? What's in this shit for me? What's gonna happen to me? Such egomania! So horrendous. But fascinating!

Generally speaking, life is a great thing. Although, people need something that moves them, shakes them up, and changes their perspective. So sometimes some bad things happen. They are usually an indication of the beginning of conscious journey. It is the beginning of a journey of questioning, digging deeper, and seeking wisdom in life.

I don’t believe in learning, books, articles, videos, or any other means of communication as a means of finding truth. Rather, I see them as a means of communicating empty thoughts and false ideas, the means of challenging perspectives and offering hopelessness. So much of the spiritual growth, so many of experiences, and so much of journey that can be traced back to that initial experience - the loneliness.

People do everything to hide a feeling of being alone. The second part of Fifty Shades is coming in the theater near you. The entertainment and advertising worlds are so awful, though, in fact, they thrive on our awfulness... the ego. Tell me, what makes a middle-aged, overweight and overworked man and his 40-something, chubby, exhausted wife and mother-of-two run to the opening night of Fifty Shades?

None of us will ever know how many orgasms Fifty Shades of Grey has inspired, or how much marital boredom it’s enlivened with vaginal balls and riding crops, but its impact is incalculable far beyond the bedroom. - Entertainment Weekly

I watched Fifty Shades of Grey last February. Well, I did not read the book so I was puzzled to watch the movie... a young attractive woman is pursued by a young attractive man. But for all his money, good looks, kinky toys and a helicopter, he's just a scared little boy who can't open up or have a healthy relationship with women... It's just fantasy and the the fantasy doesn't follow the rules of real life. Anyway, I recommended the movie to many couples - and housewives, it will turned them on. After watching this movie, men will probably take sex more seriously...

It's important to have movies that promote female sexuality but it's also important that those movies promote healthy forms of it. This movie does not. S&M is not my thing but to plenty of other people, it is. This movie shows pure abuse, both physical and mental, and even sexual in a few places, anyhow, this movie made me think that what women really want is INTIMACY nothing else.

A movie like Fifty Shades only contributes to a futile, frustrating struggle to avoid being alone. It is an authentic cry for lasting connection with the person we would like to be in a relationship with. On the end it is just a fantasy. Such egomania! So horrendous. But fascinating!


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