Thursday, March 30, 2017

April 2017 - The Month of Ashtanga Yoga


This practice becomes firmly rooted when it is cultivated skillfully and continuously for a long time. – The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali 1:14

My life is a journey and I travel alone. There is no one to tell me what to do. In all this randomness I try to keep one constant thing... my yoga practice. I need to make sure that my inner peace remains intact. The core of my daily practice addresses issues of self-confidence. What people think about me and my life is less valuable than how I see it. I keep a tough practice and I reduce the amount of concern I have around other people.

Here we go!!!

I declare April as a month of ashtanga yoga. I'm starting 30-day yoga intensive everyday practice. There are only one rule: every day  ashtanga half primary yoga practice... for the 30 days

Yoga can be anything as you want it to be. For me it is a physical pursuit, keeping my body toned, strong and flexible. For others, yoga practice may be a way to fight stress and the challenges of everyday living. And you should not forget the practice of yoga as a meditation but I'm not so much into that "mystical" aspects of yoga.

Let me be clear, I don’t practice ashtanga yoga because I like it. Well I don't. Who can like this bending, stretching and sweating everyday. I practice because I must. Now I'm 52 and at this age, it starts all kind of the health problems. I am doing an alternative health care by incorporating yoga as part of my everyday life. So far, I have no problem with variety of ailments ranging from back pain, high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, autoimmune diseases etc. I believe in yoga and I believe that regular practice and the sweat cleaning the organs of my body.

I’m sorry to say, if you’re looking for fancy yoga photos, you won’t find it here. I'm not an expert, or teacher or advanced practitioner. I practice Ashtanga yoga for 10 years now and my practice sucks big time. In January, february and march I did it 3 to 4 times per week and that is not enough.

Yoga is expensive if you want to regularly practice in a studio. But in this 30 days challenge I will go to studio too. I will go for a lead full primary on Wednesdays. The very first time I went to yoga studio a nice looking girl on reception gave me a paper to fill out. There was a question: Why I want to do yoga? I wrote without hesitation... I want to practice yoga because I want to melt the ice with my ass.

Have you ever seen how great yogis sit in the snow and how the snow around them melts away from the intense heat they produce in their meditation? I want to do the same! It is my life's goal.

So the first thing I do in the morning after waking up is to check weather forecast. I am sorry that we do not have snow so I have to practice with ice from the fridge. Believe me, I did it this morning, after haf primary and long shavasana, I went to the balcony and sit on the ice... what can I tell you. There is a great movement in the right direction. After only 5 minutes, my underwear was completely wet. 😛 The rest of the day is all about concentration, meditation and samadhi...

Joke on the side, the core of the 30 day challenge is commitment. It means a promise and following through. It means stopping my old wimpy excuses and laziness. It means sweating for 60 minutes every day for the next month.

Life is a reflection of your ATTITUDE... Cheers!!!

Monday's Beer Night at MK

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - Winston Churchill

In my experience, it's very rare that someone gets all love, care and freedom when they are young. Most of us are emotionally damaged adults because of our childhood experiences. So the first task of life is to figure out who you are and what you want, independent of others. The second task is to realize that you have the power to make it happen. Universe have no choice but to give you what you want. You must become independent and do whatever you want to do enjoying it while it lasts.

Do you really think that the life gets shittier as you grow up, you laugh less, complain more? Well, growing up by age does not mean growing up by understanding. If you feel it is getting worse, you are the only one that can change that. The only opinion that should really matter is your own. Only you are in control of your life. Don't let others tell you what to do. Don't let others live your life for you. On the end you are bound to be disappointed if you rely on them.

The truth is simple... but terrifying. You live with the mistaken identity. You create your own reality, but you lack the energy to understand that. You're too busy thinking how wonderful you are, how sensitive, how unique. I have a news for you... You are not unique!

You may know this but you don't care. Fuck it, that's how you live, you want to get fooled again and again! You don't want to change, you want to worry, you like worrying, oooh, how you like to worry, twenty-six hours a day! And what do you worry about?... About you! What about you? What's in this shit for you? What's gonna happen to you?

I gonna tell you what will happen to you... if you notice that as you get older the problems tend to stay same or issues go from bad to worse, it means that the life lessons are not learned. My mother died in the palliative care in January 2015. I was with her a month earlier and I spend considerable time in that hospital department. The palliative care is the last place on the earth, it is the place for dying... it is something like Dante's hell, anyway, I read an article about the last words of the patients there. Those patients in their last days has revealed the most common regrets they have at the end of their lives and they come in this order:

  1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
  3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

Think about this for a moment. When you realize that your life is over and look back clearly on it you will understand that all was up to you and your courage to live life true to yourself, not the life others expected of you. In other words you may see that your dreams have gone unfulfilled. You might realize that you've wasted your life. But listen, it's never too late to have a happy childhood, it is all question of your ATTITUDE.

Thursday's at Kennedys

You are convinced that you're having a terrible life, and that most of the time you're making a fool of yourself. That's true but despite your feelings, your life is actually above average; you live quite good life. Secondly, there is no need to improve anything in your life. Emotionally, this is like a blow to the stomach for you. But think for yourself and figure out what is true. The life is your show. It is your universe.

Who else knows about your thoughts and feelings? There is no one else there, just you, and nothing is being withheld from you. You are completely on your own. There is no place for worries. Everything is available to you. No one else has anything you need. No one else can lead you, pull you, push you or carry you. No one else is necessary for your happiness. You keep fucking yourself over. If you understand that, you will understand that it is the best news you could possibly receive.


Friday, March 24, 2017

Guide for Yoga Beginners ♥ Welcome to the Cult of Lulu


Yoga is good. I love it. Studio classes, the skin-tight clothes, the New Age OMMMM vibe, the tiny elastic, late thirties, women who can balance in a headstand for hours. It is a cool thing. If you're among the people that're less than thrilled about popular trend of yoga, that's perfectly understandable. But, and it hurts to say this, you're missing out many things.

Zen Stretch classes
Wondering where to begin? It's simple. Just purchase our 30 days of unlimited yoga classes for $30 and drop in for any class at any of our locations. We offer Zen Stretch classes...
-Yoga Sanctuary 

Deepen your awareness
At Zazen, we practice yoga as a way of cultivating embodied meditative presence. Yoga offers the opportunity to deepen your awareness and self understanding through breath, movement and meditation.
-Zazen Yoga Studio

Eco friendly environment
At the Roots Yoga Studio in Toronto everything is "green". The floor is planked bamboo in the studio and natural cork in the reception area and change rooms. The walls are covered with low-emission paint and the electricity is neutralized by a zero-footprint offset program. The fabric used on the reception area seating is made of recycled material. We offer free usage of all non-toxic yoga-props.
-Roots Yoga

Canoeing, Yoga and Meditation
Our students are welcome to go to any class of their choice, without needing to commit to one. We specialize in  Canoeing, Yoga and Meditation Wilderness trips...
- Shanti Yoga Studio

Thai Yoga Massage
Thai Yoga Massage North Bay is an accessible form of bodywork that can help achieve a deep state of relaxation. It is performed fully clothed, on a special mat on the floor in our smaller studio. This massage may lull you into a deep state of relaxation while wiping away your pain and stress, leaving you feeling relaxed and restored.,,
- Bend Yoga Studio

I often think about how terrifying it must be for you who first time walk into a yoga class. I am sure you'll have no idea what teacher is talking about. You should understand the poetic metaphors, uplifting blend of spiritual and physical, yoga teachers utter with low voice and gracious movements...

Yoga is JOY, PEACE and CREATIVITY. You keep INNER BALANCE, you are releasing bitterness and you FORGIVE OTHERS. It is a personal experience of expanded awareness. By practicing yoga you awaken the kundalini energy (which, it is believed, is dormant in the base of your spine) obtaining full human potential.

Hey, that brings me: one time, when dissolution of my marriage happened (the fucking divorce) I went through some painful things but I tried to be an observer in HIGHER SELF (capital letters) not just this lowercase self shit. I was the observer, and I did BREATHE. Yes, PRANA when things went tough. I've learned from yoga teachers that breathing is healthy. Particularly breathing in and out, it went so well for me. I'm GRATEFUL. Really.

You see, many of yoga studios also offer Ayurveda classes which seems to be growing in popularity. Ayurveda teaches that your body has the three constitutions, vata, pitta, and kapha. But be careful, the hot yoga aggravates your pitta! If you have a lot of pitta (internal heat), the heated class might not be the best choice for you. Here you go, you have been warned.

Also, watch if Mercury is in retrograde. Besides Ayurveda, as a yoga student you should closely start following the astrology, and pay special attention to the planet Mercury which sometimes go retrograde... And please, don't practice inversions when you are on your ladies' holiday which is a very poetic saying for a menstrual period. Women's period is a great mystery for female students. Yoga teachers still debate should they practice or not, should they do only certain poses or not.

Yoga and meditation - it’s not just for the body, it helps you get sober from last night — and TO BE PRESENT and remember that your life is full of ABUNDANCE. It is all about chakras, your centers of energy. According to yoga teachers there are seven chakras is associated with functions of the body and life. Yoga is all about clearing each of the chakras so that the energy can raise from the base of the spine all the way up through the crown of the head.

YOGA, the LIGHT and HAPPINESS, you are falling in LOVE with what YOU ARE. You SURRENDER, very scary and dangerous. I am saying dangerous because what if is it true. What if there is psychic energy on the base of the spine? And chakras? Pitta and Mercury? What if that is all true?

Thursday, March 23, 2017

As I sit with my coffee on this early evening...


My birthday is almost here. As I sit with my coffee on this early evening, reflecting upon my life and recent events, I'm writing this post feeling indifference. I'm neither sad nor happy in my relationship with the Dreamer and I'm not looking for another girlfriend. I'm simply empty and tired. Is this feeling a warning sign of a breakup or is it just sign of a rough week?

People stay in a relationship that have passed expiration date for many reasons, such as a fear of being alone or just due to accustomed feelings. Whatever the reason if I know the connection isn’t strong, then breaking up should be the option. On Wednesday night she came for couple hours and we talked about "our connection". I realized that we don't have one. She does not love me and I don't love her. Except sex, everything else is so superficial and it does taste like chicken... but what doesn't?

The culinary experts face one great dilemma: 
why relationships in this world taste like chicken? 
They're curious, did love and hate evolve independently or 
did they both inherit chicken-less from a common ancestor?

I've been deluding myself into thinking that for the past decade I'm still 35. I feel young and in my mind, 50 - something is so fucking old! But the numbers don't lie. I'm just beginning to understand the nature of old age, tiredness and this society which poisoned food, air and water, and made me a slave. I feel my life is just about survival with little or nothing to show.

Happy Birthday Zee!!!
...are you two, are you three... are you forty, are you fifty? Who the fucking cares anymore!

See, after 50, the birthday is the saddest day in a year, it makes you think. I wish that somehow, magically my birth date gets skipped or erased from the calendar. From what I've observed, life gets shittier as you grow up.

I'm known for my coarse language, simplicity, impulsive nature and aggressiveness. Some think I'm arrogant, so what, no doubt, I'm self reliant and adventurous. I want to feel the heat. I want to party... But, not today.

Well I'm supposed to have a pleasant birthday, a good time with friends or have a romantic dinner with the Dreamer. I should be feeling secure and happy that my life is on track and I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Oh how young, vibrant, and beautiful I feel! But, not today.

Naturally, just before birthday, the question of meaning of life surfaces my mind. People are ignorant, they take that the meaning of life involves some kind of joke, if you asked them, they respond with nervous laugh and an attempt to change the subject. To some, this question is threatening, too unnerving to dare to say anything sincere or serious and so laughter seems the only safe response.

This sense of "me", just like my relationship with the Dreamer, fortunately, has an expiration day. This constant process of identifications, more or less unconscious, with its struggles, quarrels, incidents, experiences and so on... can not tolerate itself forever.

This imaginary "me" will be gone one day. I'm so insignificant so I can allow myself to enjoy the play. I'm coming to conclusion that my main purpose here on this planet is to ENJOY LIFE. I have no other meaning, no other task to perform. I'm not worrying about future, I'm completely relaxed because I know that everything will be okay... I will die, at the end of all my exploring I will arrive where I've started.