Friday, March 24, 2017

Guide for Yoga Beginners ♥ Welcome to the Cult of Lulu

Yoga is good. I love it. Studio classes, the skin-tight clothes, the New Age OMMMM vibe, the tiny elastic, late thirties, women who can balance in a headstand for hours. It is a cool thing. If you're among the people that're less than thrilled about popular trend of yoga, that's perfectly understandable. But, and it hurts to say this, you're missing out many things.

Zen Stretch classes
Wondering where to begin? It's simple. Just purchase our 30 days of unlimited yoga classes for $30 and drop in for any class at any of our locations. We offer Zen Stretch classes...
-Yoga Sanctuary 

Deepen your awareness
At Zazen, we practice yoga as a way of cultivating embodied meditative presence. Yoga offers the opportunity to deepen your awareness and self understanding through breath, movement and meditation.
-Zazen Yoga Studio

Eco friendly environment
At the Roots Yoga Studio in Toronto everything is "green". The floor is planked bamboo in the studio and natural cork in the reception area and change rooms. The walls are covered with low-emission paint and the electricity is neutralized by a zero-footprint offset program. The fabric used on the reception area seating is made of recycled material. We offer free usage of all non-toxic yoga-props.
-Roots Yoga

Canoeing, Yoga and Meditation
Our students are welcome to go to any class of their choice, without needing to commit to one. We specialize in  Canoeing, Yoga and Meditation Wilderness trips...
- Shanti Yoga Studio

Thai Yoga Massage
Thai Yoga Massage North Bay is an accessible form of bodywork that can help achieve a deep state of relaxation. It is performed fully clothed, on a special mat on the floor in our smaller studio. This massage may lull you into a deep state of relaxation while wiping away your pain and stress, leaving you feeling relaxed and restored.,,
- Bend Yoga Studio

I often think about how terrifying it must be for you who first time walk into a yoga class. I am sure you'll have no idea what teacher is talking about. You should understand the poetic metaphors, uplifting blend of spiritual and physical, yoga teachers utter with low voice and gracious movements...

Yoga is JOY, PEACE and CREATIVITY. You keep INNER BALANCE, you are releasing bitterness and you FORGIVE OTHERS. It is a personal experience of expanded awareness. By practicing yoga you awaken the kundalini energy (which, it is believed, is dormant in the base of your spine) obtaining full human potential.

Hey, that brings me: one time, when dissolution of my marriage happened (the fucking divorce) I went through some painful things but I tried to be an observer in HIGHER SELF (capital letters) not just this lowercase self shit. I was the observer, and I did BREATHE. Yes, PRANA when things went tough. I've learned from yoga teachers that breathing is healthy. Particularly breathing in and out, it went so well for me. I'm GRATEFUL. Really.

You see, many of yoga studios also offer Ayurveda classes which seems to be growing in popularity. Ayurveda teaches that your body has the three constitutions, vata, pitta, and kapha. But be careful, the hot yoga aggravates your pitta! If you have a lot of pitta (internal heat), the heated class might not be the best choice for you. Here you go, you have been warned.

Also, watch if Mercury is in retrograde. Besides Ayurveda, as a yoga student you should closely start following the astrology, and pay special attention to the planet Mercury which sometimes go retrograde... And please, don't practice inversions when you are on your ladies' holiday which is a very poetic saying for a menstrual period. Women's period is a great mystery for female students. Yoga teachers still debate should they practice or not, should they do only certain poses or not.

Yoga and meditation - it’s not just for the body, it helps you get sober from last night — and TO BE PRESENT and remember that your life is full of ABUNDANCE. It is all about chakras, your centers of energy. According to yoga teachers there are seven chakras is associated with functions of the body and life. Yoga is all about clearing each of the chakras so that the energy can raise from the base of the spine all the way up through the crown of the head.

YOGA, the LIGHT and HAPPINESS, you are falling in LOVE with what YOU ARE. You SURRENDER, very scary and dangerous. I am saying dangerous because what if is it true. What if there is psychic energy on the base of the spine? And chakras? Pitta and Mercury? What if that is all true?

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