Sunday, May 28, 2017

I don't worry about being insane

Today is Sunday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and I said oh no, I'm totally insane. That's awakening, you realize you're insane. Not a little insane but all the way totally crazy. You see yourself that you always have been completely insane. That is awakening, nothing else.

I did not do yoga for a week. I can blame it in high dopamine and low serotonin in my brain but I won't. I was insane and didn’t know it. But this morning, I am of course insane but I know it. Yesterday I thought I am perfectly sane. That’s where I am now. How about you? Do you think you are as sane as everyone else? Ha, you are insane too, because there are no sane people. If you don’t know you’re insane, you're stuck, nothing you can do about it.

What make you and me, and other people insane?

We don’t know what we’re doing or why we’re doing it, but we keep doing it anyway. That’s what insane means. You don’t believe you’re insane because you’re insane. When you realize you are insane you will be much more sane. Not fully sane but going in a right direction.

I am not a nutritionist or a dietitian. I am not a yoga trainer, a coach or a fitness expert of any kind. Please do not consider anything you read here to be advice from an expert. Today I set the goal to look good and pay attention to my body. Yes, the physical body. I am going to consume the fewer calories than what I intake.

The Goal -  85 kg by the end of June

I am a person of extremes and if I don't see results in short period of time I'm discouraged and I quit the endeavor. I'm not going to spare myself, the yoga practice will be one hour long and I should be exhausted after it. I'm going to eat very little but healthy.

The Goal - looks like this guy

I will pretend to be insane because it’s not really in my interest to become sane. What’s the point of being sane in a crazy world? I will be a freak. I am a freak right now because I am insane, but everyone is insane so I blend in. When I stop blending in, then I am really a freak. Is that what I want?

In this world, nothing makes sense by itself. If I want a sense, I have to make it up. Sense that I have to make up is of course, the nonsense. I have to make up nonsense to explain what I'm doing. That’s because I'm insane.

May 2017 - 90 kg

Being insane isn’t the problem, that’s easy to fix. Not knowing I'm insane is the problem, that’s pretty hard to fix. But now I know that i am insane, so it’s not a real problem. If it’s not a problem, it doesn’t need to be fixed. I can go back to what I was doing and don’t worry about being insane.

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