Monday, May 29, 2017

We only fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime


Not so many people comes to our life offering LOVE, many people come for a very different reasons. However, we really fall in love with only three people in our lifetime.

I met my first love on the first year of my university and she was grade 12, still in high school. We were young and crazy. (I am not young anymore.) It was an idealistic love, the one that seems like a fairytale.

We stayed together for three years and we had all kinds of adventures and even we lived together for a year or so. I left her. One night I saw that if I stay with her we will get married and deep down inside my heart I knew this is not a destiny for me. I wanted to go out of my country and with her that was not possible. I loved her but I decided to break up. She got engaged with other guy in a month of our break up. She is now married to him and they live a happy life back home. Since our break up I have never seen her again.

A month or so after the break up I met my ex. It’s my second love and it looked right. The second love is supposed to be our hard love, the one that teaches you lessons about who you are and how you often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

22 years later we got divorced and we are now just strangers on the street. She broke up with me and I left my family, I was ready for it. There was no emotional drama. Thinking now, I do regret meeting my ex. She was not an emotional type of person and she never showed me her real feelings.

After divorce I have met a lot of women. I wanted to love and to be loved but I could not find a girlfriend to stay enough time for real love. A seven days, ten days, a month, I changed my girlfriends often. With one girlfriend I was about 2 years but with constant breaking up and coming together. We went 5 times to Caribbean vacations and we had a great time but there was no love.

And then she came into my life... My third love which I never saw coming. At the beginning, or even now, it looked like all is wrong for me. The relationship that destroys any ideal I knew about what love is supposed to be. But all comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. My connection to her can’t be explained and it really knocks me off my feet because I've never planned for it.

We just fit together without any expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than what we really are. I just simply accepted her for who she is already, a single working mother with kids and lots of obligations. It isn’t what I envisioned my love would look like, nor does she follows any rule that I had hoped to play it. She shatters my preconceived notions and shows me that love doesn’t have to be how I thought in order to be true.

We are together and we had our up and downs because naturally I am a fickle guy. Possibly I've needed some time to learn that I really love her. I was making myself ready for love and the love was ready for me.

What it really comes down to is that I have reached the love limit in my lifetime. Some people choose to stay with their first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone happy. Some choose to stay with their second under the belief that if they don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having. Some, like me, believe in the third love. The one that feels like home without any logic; the love that isn’t like anything you have imagined to be.

And maybe there’s something special about my first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about my second but there’s something pretty amazing about third, it is the current one and it's the last one.

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.