Tuesday, May 16, 2017

What's it really like to be over 50?


- She's watching you and she is early 40s, go over there. 
- Let her be, I'll not approach her. My girlfriend is at home sleeping, it is not nice to her, and I have to get up early. I'm going fishing tomorrow. I'm gonna empty the fucking lake.

The humanity can't stop its struggle against aging. It is never before so obvious like in 50s. You fight against nature without hope to win. You are going to lose and end up muddy, humiliated and without meaning. Your desperate attempts to use creams, go on running, going to gym, buying a new car and finding a new woman will not delay the inevitable. As it should. You had your youth, you had a good days, if you played it bad... so what? Fuck off!

The aging process does not begin at birth, but somewhere in the middle of thirties, depending on whether you're made out of less or more shitty material. The aging is most visible in 50s. People have anguish over their 30th birthday and try to hide their 40th, it is with the 50th that most start to actually see themselves as beginning to be old. Why? I'll tell you...

In 50s you're gaining weight like never before. Except for a handful of people whose metabolism is so fast that it can neutralize the fatty steak eaten in five afternoon with a bottle of wine, all others are sentenced to gain weight - this is the first sign of 50s.

It comes with that age, marriage, divorce, children and work... you're purely destined to became a cynic. You start strongly believing that people are motivated by their self-interest rather than acting for unselfish reasons. But you fail to see that your own future, like for example the retirement, is more important than the moment in which you are... and that is a definite sign of 50s.

You used to wait for the weekend so eagerly; you used to put on the most beautiful shirt heading straight after work to a bar to meet friends and to drink. It takes 50 years and the desire for the Friday night out gradually atrophies, you find yourself at the place when your partner must force you to get out of the couch. Rarely she succeed. You just have no interest to mingle with the crowd, to pay for a beer six times over the price and to wait your turn to pee.

And if eventually you went out to a bar and an opportunity arise, well, in 50s you'll refuse good looking woman because you have a girlfriend, you're married or you are just not into the mood. Besides complaining that the music is a way too loud, the refusal of a the opportunities to engage with women just means your balls are hanging too low. There is nothing wrong there, on the contrary... you are ready for meditation.

I know, in 50s things are changed, in your 20s you jerked off on Monica Bellucci but now when you see her on TV you change the channel, spontaneously you gave up joys of wanking. That is a clinical evidence of aging. That's how it goes.

One of the hilarious experiences for many in their 50's is actual High School reunion, the seeing your own generation. Being with large groups of men and women your own age will give you delusional assurance to justify the feeling that you yourself are aging better than most of them.

In 50s, you'll start thinking how much time is left rather than how much has passed. Sad, but true.

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About Zee Mark

I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life. My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived to a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.