Monday, April 9, 2018

Staircases to Nowhere

Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.  –Adyashanti

Spiritual awakening is difficult, no difficult is not right word, it is impossible. It is impossible but again it is an achievable thing. Once you can let go of the need to be awaken, then you free yourself allowing a peaceful state to unfold, and it comes to you. But, I am going to warn you... it hurts like hell.

Indeed, awakening is no walk in the park. On the path of awakening, you'll  discover your own ugliness, your lies, pretense, hypocrisy, fears... a pain itself. Thin-skinned, heart-oriented, addicted-to-comfort, need not even start the path of awakening. And if you decide to do it, leave your hopes behind. The hopes are illusion anyway.

In order to gain the ability to learn about yourself, to have fun with your inherent hypocrisy, and to have a good sense of humor in regards to your sleepy consciousness as an imperfect human being, you must first have the capacity to see things as they are, which requires brutal self-honesty, ruthless self-investigation and self-observation.

Brutal self-observation forces you to face your own demons. It pushes you to confront your most personal stupidities and to question all authorities, especially yourself. It forces you to face the abyss of the human condition, seeing clearly unavoidable truth: impermanence.

You'll discover that you are just another uninteresting mortal being. The discovery slaps you across the face with its absolute mockery of your situation. You face the universe and your existence as the almighty cosmic joke, making damn certain that you’re the subject of that joke.

17 years on the conscious journey

For that reason, it is of paramount importance that you use your sense of humor. When you laugh at yourself you loosen up. A bit. You suddenly go from being the subject of the joke, to laughing at the joke. When you can laugh at yourself you are allowing yourself to be insane and to know that you're insane. That is called the self-honesty.

Without self-honesty, you’re stuck with the comfortable day-to-day deception, suppression, oppression and finally depression. After discovery that impermanence is only permanent thing in this universe you will start seeing your own lies. You will see that everything you think, say and do are just projection of your lying mind.

Beware, the walking on the path of awakening is a frightening endeavor. It shatters your beliefs, your worldview and dissolves your certainty. It replaces answers with questions and it touch you psychologically and physically. It changes you by cleaning your perception. You will start seeing things you may not want to see.

This one is arguably the most painful. The culprit of all seeing is the seeing that you don't exist. Ah simple words which do not make any sense. Are they? The essence of you will never admit this seeing, but it is there like an abyss staring into you. The real you is no-thing and you have to see it for yourself.

...still traveling to Ishtlan

Yes, I am talking about ego annihilation process, a burning down of expectations and hopes, a total disintegration of a "normal" human being. And you descend. And so you lose yourself and you may scream out. The only way to proceed at this point is humility, the scary, uncomfortable state of forgiving. It’s a tearing down of the walls that protect you from the world.

Humility hurts because it is the ultimate letting go of yourself. It’s a deep acceptance of the way things are, regardless of your need for things to be a certain way. It’s a decisive shedding of the burden of what you cannot control.

Seeing impermanence, your lies and delusions and accepting humility gives you permission to authentically and sincerely go with the flow. In the end, awakening is scary and painful, but it is so amazingly rewarding that it doesn’t even matter.

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