Thursday, June 15, 2017

I want a girlfriend...

Life is not scary, or bad, or a curse, or any other bullshit thing that people make it out to be. My life is a my creation, it is a product of my INTENT. The only real question is What do I really want?

I want a girlfriend. 

I want a girlfriend instead of casual dates that make me feel horrible about myself. I want a girlfriend besides me to hug and kiss instead of waking up next to a strange woman who thinks I'm just another moron in her life, I want a girlfriend which will not force me to be someone that I am not.

I want a girlfriend who doesn't just say she will show up but actually come excited to see me. I am tired from the "I love you too" distance and the business like kisses and cold hugs.

I want a girlfriend who talks about me to their friends. I am setting intent to find a woman who is proud to say my name and to show me off because anything less than that is bullshit.

I want a girlfriend who can't wait to see me but not in an overbearing pushy, controlling manner but in an “I care about you” manner because yes, there is a difference between the two. And no, being with someone who controls me is not cool.

I want a girlfriend I actually want to spend free time without need to convince myself that I like her or worse – someone I have to convince to like me. I don't need her for whose attention I have to beg for. If she likes me, I will know otherwise it’s time to let her go and focus more on myself.

I want girlfriend who misses me when I'm not around, not someone who forgets I exist on the weekdays unless she's bored and lonely. I want a girlfriend who actually gives a shit about the way I feel. Not someone who says “oh well, that is for teenagers” and just expects me to get over it.

I want a girlfriend who is proud of me, who inspires me, who wants me to be better and wants to help me get there. I want to find her who erases my insecurities and makes me proud of having her. I want a girlfriend who wants to hold my hand while we waking and who actually gives a shit about that.

So many people settle for bullshit relationships – I am not the one of those. Love is the one thing I never, ever play with it. I want a girlfriend who wants the same as me.

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