Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Wondrous fantasy of forever

I am not in relationship anymore!

If things lasted forever, what would make them special?

You’ll fall in love, you’ll fall out of love, or lose the ones you love. Nothing lasts forever! Rather than being depressed by this fact, however, I feel grateful, excited, and uplifted. The endings make things more valuable.

Forever is a trap you as a human are easily deceived by. Do not look forward to forever. It's definitely a powerful word, which makes you somehow immortal. But I guess forever can be real, just like breakup of relationship fantasy... that is for forever. Yes, marriage is temporary, divorce is forever, so please don’t take your relationship seriously.

I am not in the relationship anymore and I am pretty hopeful that this period will last for some time. Anyway, enough of this rant, I deleted the last two posts because some people don't find it appropriate. So be it, it is the last thing I can do for them.

Today is the day!

I've been writing here how to get into a regular practice of home yoga for almost four years. It's my main saying in this blog – the core message that underlies everything else I write here.

Want to have courage in life? Do yoga, I say. Want to find your true self? Add yoga to your day, I suggest. And not just any yoga, ashtanga yoga at home – the yoga with set and strict rules. Get on your yoga mat, get off the couch and start by paying attention to what your body really wants.

Of course, it doesn't have to be yoga. Go to gym, do some heavy lifting and take care of yourself. Dance! Whatever. There are other ways to build courage, creativity, curiosity, connection and purpose. Yoga is the way that works for me. At least it works when I'm doing it.

But lately I haven't been doing much yoga. I've been excited about getting rid of debt, planning, calculating, scheduling and over the past few weeks, I've lost the thread of my home yoga practice.

Today, I am starting my regular, daily, ashtanga, yoga practice again. What that means is that I'm starting to get on my yoga mat six times a week. I chose to be free and to do something about my life, I chose to sweat and bend.

I'll start small, where I am, with the pain in my lower back and go from there. I'll put Sharath's DVD and let move through the poses. I'll be kind to myself and observe any changes in my back.

For me, like for so many others, the home yoga practice is a constant struggle. It is really hard to establish a consistent practice. And today's day is something special. It is a beginning. It’s wonderful! Honestly, I feel alive and free and that's exactly what I need.

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