Thursday, July 6, 2017

I am an albatraoz!!!


Mesdames et Messieurs
S'il vous plaît
Soyez prêt pour Zee et Albatraoz
C'est parti!

There are so many articles, videos, books about finding your purpose in life and living your life happily. I am not quite sure that they make any sense but you like to read it. It probably gives you a certain pleasure.

Things in life are much simpler than you think. There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so, said Shakespeare. And it is true. Your thinking supplies judgments and colors the events according to your mood.

The life is really completely neutral. Events, per se, have no meaning whatsoever, but there is a touch of "personality", that makes you angry or satisfied. You like this, you don't like that. That is not really necessary.

I live at High Park area of Toronto in a small, 550 sq feet, one bedroom, cozy apartment. I'm a simple, straightforward guy and I don't like complications and anything that creates over thinking. I try to see events as they are but so often I also go astray and supply meaning to the events.

I like to say for myself that I'm an albatraoz. ;-) Flying high above this mundane life.

I'm a mixture of fearless man who adores freedom and undisciplined child who make so many mistakes. I'm very easy to be understood. Being confident, spontaneous and independent, I want to be in charge.

I do things for myself, like writing this blog. I don't want to prove anything to you. As uncomplicated, bold, aggressive and impulsive, I'm perceived as selfish, insensitive, often so blunt and impatient. So be it. I don't need to change, you have to look at me with different attitude.

It always surprise me that the world doesn't revolve around me. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten an email that there is a larger world out there outside of myself. Looking at the world purely from my own perspective I see that I am caring, compassionate, team player, and an overall okay guy and here deep down in my heart there is a strong thirst for independence.

I am in relationship with no future but we are together for almost a year now. I love my girlfriend. I have written a lot of posts about my relationship but I deleted them on her request. I firmly believe that she is here in my life to teach me how to love without being a needy. Honestly, I do think that.

Yes, sometimes, I am called hard headed and stubborn. Maybe this is true. Once I get an idea in my mind, I tend to be quite intolerant of other facts. This can get quite annoying. I never get into debate with anyone about religion, politics, and other heavy subjects. I just do whatever I want at the moment but I have a strong sensitivity not to hurt other people.

If you ever meet me you will notice that I don't talk much. I am an observer and I never say things what I am writing here. I think that everything written here is just temporary state of mind, so fleeting and changeful, it has no value. It is a play, nothing else.

Most people don’t like to be wrong, however, I take that to a whole new level. I don’t like to admit that I am wrong. I do apologize for many things I have done but deeply inside I consider apologizing to be an act of humiliation.

Nothing is ever wrong. I learn from every experience I had, although I'm very slow, so I repeat my mistakes all over again. Whatever I did was a necessary step for the future. So I'm proud of myself. Maybe I'm not as good as I want to be but thanks to all the lessons I've learned along the way, I'm so much better than I used to be.

And the song of the day...

... I'm an albatraoz



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