Back To Online Dating


I'm free again. I'm single and able to do whatever I want with my time and money. The first thing I did this morning is to download Bumble online dating app. I enrolled for the Bumble boost for a month (worth $30) so I'm able to see who likes my profile.

Bumble is like Tinder, both men and women swipe, but only women can start the conversation, and they only have 24 hours from the time they match to start chatting before the connection disappears forever. I like that.

You download the app, set up your profile, and start swiping. If you mess up and accidentally swipe left when you mean to swipe right — swipe right meaning that you're interested in someone — you can shake your phone to undo it. The user interface isn't difficult, and it's easy to use.

During a day I received 3 likes from the very attractive women. I matched them, meaning I have accepted their likes and now I am waiting for their contact. I would like to go on date this wekend...

So what do you think? If you want to start the online dating, you register on dating site, upload your best looking photos, fill out gibberish as your profile, mention something boring about the things you love, list some books you like, list sports you do and then sit back, kick your feet up, and wait for the messages to roll in. Right?

You expect your inbox filled with messages, notes of the likes from women who find your taste “refreshing”. You will chose the best looking one and invite her for a drink or dinner. After she said "yes", you put on some nice shirt, plunge out into the unknown, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly pleasant conversation, you grab the check. You ended up at your place or you part away with kisses, and you set up next date probably in a three or four days. You are happy online dater.

But, that is in the perfect world, the reality of online dating is something else.

The online dating is a game. Wake up and be realistic if you didn't know this. You've got to keep on playing, till you hit the right combination, the winning one, and you end up on a perfect date with the woman of your dreams.

It seems like a no brainer, but you as you are now is the one of the biggest setbacks you have to overcome. Playing this Game involves personal changes.

Speak with your friends, especially females and ask them what they think how can you change your appearance to look more attractive. They will tell you. Looking yourself through others eyes is good in this case. Write down what they say. Is it changing the clothes, or hairstyle or whatever.

Do it. Follow up with them again. The point is to see yourself realistically like others see you.

Your Profile

Are you clear what do you want. What kind of person you want to attract? What is your relationship goal? Write honestly. Be yourself, be confident, be realistic and open-minded. Write your preferences but keep your expectations grounded in reality.

Write your profile in an easy manner... do not complicate things. Don't lie. Be simple to the point.

You need to remember you are only going to be concerned about 5% of the women on the dating site. The other 95% are there to weed through, sort out, and throw away (delete the messages from them).

Know what do you want, keeping focus on your goal.

Choose Photos Strategically

In online dating, the pictures are the first line of connection. Think about the message you're sending. Your pics dictate how potential dates view you, so be proactive and decide what image you want to project.

If you aren't sure how your profile and photos looks/reads, ask a friend to proof read it.

Your First Message

Writing the first message is tricky and writing a lot is usually a sign of a deep lack of confidence. Don't feel that she isn't interested in what you're saying, dude, she is on the site for the reason. Start as a friend and equal.

Read her profile. Be funny but avoid being cheesy - aim your joke at something you both have in common - perhaps something in her profile - maybe a movie?

Look through her interests, favorite foods, her job and try and spark up conversation based on what she's into.

Avoid suggesting a face-to-face meeting in your first message, instead stick to something you've seen on their profile - do you share the same music taste? Has she seen your favorite band live?

a) prove you read her profile,
b) start a conversation about stuff you share in common,
c) reinforces further that you're interested what she thinks, not just her look, by asking more about the stuff she's interested in.

Never ever compliment her looks. Those messages are shallow and meaningless. End the message skillfully... I would like to read your palm and tell you what future holds for you, is great example.

Ask one or two questions. Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. This is too much for her.

Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for her to respond quickly because she'e interested.

Her profile is one big list of conversation topics.  Just pick one detail you think is cool, or you're genuinely curious about, and ask her about it.

Analyse her profile and photos

You have seen her and you think you’re going to meet her as a thin, blonde, beautiful woman, well don't be so sure! More than half of women lie about their looks. Simply they post old photographs on their profile. Yes, surprise surprise!

It is the online dating reality, a shameful dishonesty from people looking to find their true match.

Some women are lying about their looks. Do they really think that when they finally encounter you in person, that it won’t be immediately obvious that they are four years older, two cup sizes smaller, couple inches shorter and about 20 pounds heavier than they show on her picture?

Perhaps they assume their personalities will magically make up for the fact they do not look anything like the picture that was posted online.

Before you decide to contact her analyse her profile and carefully look at her photos. Photos can tell you a lot about your potential date.

 - No photo or a face covered with hair are a sign that she probably has something to hide, or else she is not really serious about dating, she only wants to go for free drinks and dinners.

 - If she has only one photo with face only, you should be very careful and ask for full figure photo before the actual date.

 - If she has more than 10 photos, it means she is completely self-absorbed.

 - All her photos are cut out from photos with another people? Well, that’s a huge red flag on so many levels. Such photos are lies, lies and lies.

 - Is there someone or something else in her photo? It’s good to have outside interests. But if her dog, friends, car or even her kids are in her photos, it may tell you a little about where you’ll stand in the scheme of things.

Anyway, by reading her profile you can feel that something is not right. Please understand, everything you have thought of being wrong, it will be wrong. The picture lie you can spot in the first few seconds of seeing her, the other lies you will notice later on... so good luck to you... and to me.


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