Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Why married people only talk about kids?


What you are thinking of as "awake" - some intense new passion for a worthy cause or a deep feeling of love for all existence, is actually the deep sleep, much deeper than a feeling of boredom or indifference. It is an intense association with the Illusion. 

The bored and the indifferent are on the verge of leaving the lure of the temptress Maya behind, no longer swayed by her shiny attractions. They are on the verge of waking.

~ Shri Sadguru Siddharameshwar Maharaj

It is just matter of time, at some point you will conclude that there is nothing great about the world you live in. Whether this is inspired by a death of a parent, close relative or a friend, loss of job, divorce, the "awe-inspiring" boredom, or losing the loved one, at that moment you will stop questioning what is your life all about, you will see it for what really is.

I am not going to give you the big secret of life. You've been told since childhood that being a grown-up is awesome. And maybe now that you're an adult, you're still waiting for the awesome part. You are still running around chasing a successful career, catching the opportunity to become boss, manager, senior analyst while sleeping four or five hours a day... Good luck to you.

Do you spend your days, without time to relax, always watching the clock, wishing the morning away so you could go to lunch, wishing the afternoon away so you could go home? Never happy, always busy and tired and preparing for the next thing? Weekends are actually worse than weekdays because that's when everything that you didn't do must be done... cleaning, shopping, kid's stuff.

Why married people only talk about kids? Why married people have that insane preoccupation with the kids? 

The aimlessness of life. Married people live life in a cubicle, nothing to live for, nothing to die for. They live the life for children. I'm tired of all this crap I have to listen about children. That's all I hear about, everywhere... Raising children is getting entirely too much attention.

For married couples, who think they're such fucking hero for raising their kids, somebody has to tell them for their own good: their children are overrated and overvalued, and they've turned their life in a wrong way. Eventually they'll be disappointed...

So, don't live for your kids, it's not healthy. Well, you love your kids. So what?! Everybody loves their children; the love doesn't make you special. What I'm talking about is this constant, mindless concerns, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow your life has to revolve around the lives of your kids. It's completely insane.

Stop dragging kids all over town in search of empty, meaningless activities to kill time: scouts, swimming, soccer, karate, piano, tennis, bale, salsa, and who knows what else. It's absurd. You want to help your kids? Leave them alone or you will suffer on the end!

The life suffering is necessary because you must suffer until you realize that suffering is not necessary. 

All your beliefs, concepts, all thoughts, they are just imagination. And not only your beliefs but also your education and religion, spiritual understanding, life philosophy, your ideas and opinions and your God. Everything is a bullshit. What about meaning of your life? I can tell you... your existence is utterly, perfectly, gloriously meaningless. Truth is infinitely simple, your beliefs are infinitely complex.

Money, power, prestige, high heels, fashioned hairstyle, sure whatever defines you, however you describe yourself, think of yourself, project yourself... every feature, every trait, characteristic, feeling, belief, opinion, all of it... self-ness, it is all worthless. Just an empty costume.

"And for what?" Lisa continues. "This wasn't for a few months or even years. this was our whole life! We were trapped! Fifteen years of it! Isn't that nuts? And for what? To raise kids? That's just an excuse. Anyone can raise kids: you don't have to live in constant soul-crushing servitude to do it. One day I asked DJ what he really wanted out of life and he said he wanted to be a dentist just like daddy. It was like being kicked in the stomach."

She shakes her head sadly. "And you know, it's not just that it's a terrible way to live: it's not really life at all. It's not something you choose, it's what you get when you don't choose. We just marched ourselves into these damned idiotic, impossible lives without ever stopping to think about what we were doing. High school, college, post-grad and then straight into the workforce. Get married, have a kid, borrow money, buy a house, fill it with junk, have another kid, borrow more money, bigger house, more junk. It's completely insane, but that's how everyone I know lived. Affluenza, they call it. like a disease. That's what it is. For the last seven years we've been struggling just to make the minimum payments on our debt."

She laughs bitterly. "Everyone I knew was the same way. Some at a higher income level, some lower, but I think practically everyone we knew was dangerously over-extended in every direction. Money, time, work, responsibilities. We were doing everything right and we didn't really have any misfortune: no tragedies or health issues. We've been members of the local country club for ten years. Yes, we were living the American dream. Exhausted, broke, not good parents, not happy, and now split up."

~ Spiritual Warfare, Jed McKenna

I've stopped comparing myself to you. I've stopped competition with you. I've stop following you. I don't judge you, I'm not interested of what you think and do. You have evolved in one side only, growing in social area without any comparable growth in self-knowledge. This creates your feeling of being lonely, temporary visitor in the universe.

You are driven by greed for material objects and fear of being hungry, your God sucks, your kids are spoiled, your philosophy is dead. I'm not saying you need a new religion. You need a new experience of what it is to be "you". Your common sensation of self is a hoax. You are dreaming, you are hypnotized imagining yourself as a good parent.

I don't expect you to accept my words that I'm saying here. You can reject my words because they do not fit into your life philosophy. Whatever. I'm moving away from your image of brighter future and better tomorrow for your kids. I'm running away from whatever makes you feel good and whatever boosts your self esteem, tells you you are okay, tells you everything is just fine the way it is. It isn't.


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