Wednesday, September 6, 2017

I Swiped Right And I Made Mistake

Some words of advice my wise mother once gave me: you are the prize. How big of a prize is defined by how much you love and respect yourself. You determine how much you are worth. Nobody else. 

Sometimes love can turn into a battle that we want to win but can’t. Many relationships aren’t meant to be. That doesn’t make it your fault, and it doesn’t make it the other person’s fault; it just makes it life.

Whatever the case, you should never sacrifice your dignity at the expense of a futile relationship. 

~ Ariel Hairston

If you follow my blog you may come to the conclusion that I don't know what I'm doing. That is not quite true. I really do whatever I intuitively feel. I do what my gut tells me.

I recently left a relationship that I was not happy in. I said I was in a toxic relationship and that my ex lacks affection. So I went online in the search for a different woman, I swiped right and on the first date I met one who was the complete opposite of my ex. I dated her for a week but I could not forget my ex.

There you go. Last Monday, I called my ex and we got back together. I was wrong and I realized that I cannot let her go. Fortunately for me, her feelings towards me were intact. With her, I have more than just a good time, I have a stable partner. So I let the another girl go.

Today, after all this drama, I'm feeling incredibly terrible for these two breakups and the confusion I made. But I had to act on what I feel. The most of the relationships don't last. And it is better to break up now than to stay in it for far too long and inescapably breakup later.

I am back to my girlfriend, I love her with all my heart. We had a bumpy road in our relationship but we managed to stay together. I'm happy and content. The greatest lesson I learned from all this is that I have to know what I want before the relationship starts.

Typically when you go into a relationship without truly understanding your must-to-have, nice-to-have and deal-breakers, you end up trying to change your partner and that never ends well. A loving relationship is a reward of knowing what you want and receiving it. Being into a relationship and figuring out what you want is not so good.

Never forget about yourself. Get to know your likes and dislikes. Don't be in a relationship always being busy trying to learn about your partner’s wants, needs, goals, and aspirations so you often forget about your own. Never forget your own happiness, and what matters most to you. By the time you get into your next relationship, you should have a good clarity of what you want.

Yes, my last week was crazy but I have no regrets. All of the decisions were my own. No one can tell me what to do, how to behave and especially what to feel. In a relationship, my girlfriend does not define who I am, I do not need anyone to complete me. I honestly know that I will be happy with or without a girlfriend. This little piece of knowledge makes it easier for me to leave a relationship.

My current relationship is not perfect and I cannot say that my girlfriend can ever hurt me; that’s certainly not the case. I bring into our relationship my own flaws, and she brings hers, so every relationship requires a little work. I just have to admit that I'm willing to work through and with her to make things better.

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