Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Being Content With Simple Things

Have you noticed my efforts on this blog? I write articles about living life by being awake with special attention on the beauty of being content with what you have and who you really are.

Don't get me wrong, I’m definitely a goal oriented person — I always have goals, whether that’s writing a better post, doing yoga, improving my health, waking early, losing weight, or one of a dozen other goals I’m having in the last couple of months.

So isn’t that a contradiction? Doesn’t that seem to indicate that I’m not content with my life? Not at all. I’m extremely cool with my life, with what I have, and with who I am.

So contentment isn’t a matter of being satisfied with your situation in life and never trying to improve it. It’s a matter of being content with what you have — but realizing that without improvement, no matter how happy you are, the things will eventually go downhill. If you don’t fight and strive for better, well, you have given up on life.

You choose whether you are happy or unhappy. Read that sentence again if you're not quite aware of that in your daily life. If you’re unhappy with your life right now, I will say that it’s because you’ve chosen to be unhappy. It sounds harsh, but it’s completely true. Pardon me, you are reading my blog, so you're neither homeless nor clinically depressed nor the one who undergone terrible tragedies or abuse in your past. You're normal human being so this applies to you.

I hear you, your life is crap, and of course, you're going to be unhappy. Your job isn’t going well, your relationships aren’t going well, your finances are very bad, you're overweight, your life is a mess.

But listen to this... it’s proven that it’s not the conditions that make you unhappy, but your choice of thoughts, your attitude.

When you're unhappy, you focus on all the bad things in your life. Not only that, but you continually think about how bad things are, you complain, and you ask, “Why me?” You walk on the verge of inaction and eventually depression. You become grumpy and cynic. That, in turn, only made the situation worse. It certainly does not help you.

I am not saying you should be artificially happy. That is a wishful thinking. I don't say focus on only good things in your life and have positive thoughts. I don't say that! Because while you have problems at your work and with your relationships and with your finances or health and all that... there is still the opportunity to be content with yourself.

Simplify your life. Get out of debt. Be active, have your health under control, even if you are overweight. Be happy, despite your conditions, simply because you chose to be happy. Find satisfaction in what you already have, instead of wishing something else.

Being a content and being happy are not the same things. In many ways, they are similar, but it’s really a matter of focus. When you’re happy, it’s really a temporary state of emotional being, but being content is a matter of being satisfied with what you have. It influences happiness, if you're content, you will be happy.

Be satisfied with less, with a simpler life, rather than always wanting more, always acquiring more, and never being content. Examine why you want more, and solve your issues. At the root of wanting more is not being satisfied with what you have. Once you’ve learned to be content, you don’t need more. You can stop acquiring, and start enjoying.

I don't say I don't want a new stuff. I am not immune to wants, I have learned to catch myself now and then to spend enormous amount of money for going out, for vacations and expensive gifts for others. I have never wanted anything for me personally, I have a problem with giving out so much to other people.

The reason I get into financial trouble is that I give to others more than I can afford. That's my problem, you have your own financial problems. Anyway, find contentment with the stuff you have, buy fewer things, check your wants, and only spend what you can afford.

If you are fine with your finances you're most probably not satisfied with your significant other. Your partner doesn't behave how you want him/her to. That’s often at the root of your relationship problems.

Being in the relationship isn’t always easy, as you are usually trained by your well intentioned but never satisfied parents to try to change people. Well, you will only find trouble if you try to change your partner. You will never succeed, neither to change their mind nor their behavior, only you will succeed to make them unhappy, and in turn, your relationship will suffer.

I also had a problem with my girlfriend, but when this happened, I tried to remind myself to love her as she is, for who she is. She is a beautiful person, just as she is now, and I realized that there is absolutely no need to change her.

Most of you who read this are not satisfied with the work or job you do. Well, every job wants to make you robot-like creature and you should rebel. You should not stick with a dead-end job and a boss that treats you like shit. If you’re unhappy with your job, change it.

However, I have learned that being a content, a simple person, having a touch of indifference towards things that matters will generally help you at any job. Complaining, being grumpy, or negative will not improve your chances to get things better. That leads to problems at work.

When you find yourself unhappy with something, or with what you don’t have, take a moment and become aware of your surroundings, of yourself as being alive. And I would bet things will change. It puts the focus on what you are rather than what you're not.

Stop, and remind yourself of your simple BEING. When you find yourself unhappy with someone or trying to change them, take a deep breath, and stop for a moment. Take a moment to think about the wonders of life and the reasons you're alive here on this planet at this very moment.

Stop, and consider why you want new things. When you feel the urge to go visit New York or Las Vegas or whatever-fuck-land, think about whether that is really what you want. Take a pause, consider why you want something. Are you not content with where you're, what you already have? And why not?

Take time to appreciate your life! Reflect on your life often and on a regular basis. I do this early in the morning when I watch the sunrise. Show people you appreciate them, do not love them from the far but be close to them. It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them your appreciation. Smile, spend time with your loved ones, thank them out loud, thank them publicly.

Learn to enjoy the simple things!

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