Monday, April 8, 2019


In my life I am having simple goals - yoga practice, living healthy and saving money. Right now I am in the spring cleaning - the period of change. Only constant thing is ashtanga half primary series practice. I mean, what else I have? Something more important going? Like what? My plans? What plans? I have no plans, neither short term nor long term. My career? I have no interest improving myself...


I have no big aspirations, I just want to be healthy and look good. Yoga is all that I have to keep me in a good physical and mental condition. Also, with spring coming I have started long walks across High Park and Bloor street.


The majority of the people of my age are overweight, busy with their work, under all kinds of stress, very serious and sarcastic. They follow sports and politics, they watch TV and news at 11 PM... The confidence goes down after hitting 50 and by age of 60, they are inactive and very likely to have some kind of sickness. I have decided not to count myself in this general population of men. Except for the age, I have nothing in common with any of them.


I hate to say this but the more I look at people of my age the more ashamed I am part of this 50-something generation. I'm not buying it. Those, barbecue parties, kids education stories, big houses, big cars, laziness and sluggishness. Simple, I'm not buying their frustrations and  lifestyle.


What to say about the women of my age? Not much. They are not going out at all, I don't see them in the clubs and pubs. I think women over 45 need a special lifestyle change plan. Women need to go out more often and eat fewer calories and they need a lot of sex. The lack of sex, the hormonal changes and menopause make them edgy and mentally unstable.


People see life like a mere roller coaster of ups and downs, chronic search for happiness, dissatisfaction, always pretending they are happy and successful. They slip into their life the way a foot slip in the shoe. They decide nothing, there is no choice, they live this by default. They don't know any better, and they don't know the reason why they don't know any better.


I am trying to be aware, to hold onto I AM, to observe myself, I believe that we create the experience of our own reality. We look at the world through the glasses of our own thoughts. So thoughts must be known. Daily retrospective, quiet periods of simple awareness, the presence is needed. I don't say meditation but some quiet, alone time is necessary for healthy life.


I have come to the point of understanding and I openly say - Hey, wait a minute, this life is nuts! I want to get out of this merry-go-round circle of daily waking up, working and sleeping again. Work is not everything in our life, it brings money, that's it. I work as much as I need to pay my bills. I have no debt although I spent a lot going out and paying for drinks.


Unfortunately, if you don't know which road to take, you don't pay attention to the crossroads...  the un-examined life, said Socrates, is not worth living. That is a serious shit. People are offended by that. They rather like watching life of others, reading biographies, documentaries and various garbage on the internet.


Socrates meant that the stagnated, home-work-home, repetitive life is not worth living. He is saying that most people's lives are not worth the bother. They don't understand, the universe is an interactive game, it will give them whatever they want. That is how it works. It can't be otherwise. They don't have to be worthy, but they have to know what it is that they want.


I'm not an advanced yoga practitioner, a fitness teacher, or a healthy diet guru, not even a great blog writer. I write here what I'm interested in at present moment. I have no advice for you. Do whatever fuck you want to do. As for myself, I will continue to take care of the present...


When the inevitable truth of aging confronts us in the mirror we don’t react well. "Oh, you don’t look your age!" became a great compliment. I say, fuck that! I am not scared of getting old.


Thank you for reading. zmark.ca