Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Nothing To Be Done


From now on, yoga and being awake are most important in my life. What else I have? Something more important going? Like what? My plans? What plans? I have no plans, neither short term nor long term. My career? I work only to pay the bills. I have no interest improving myself...

Have you read Charles Bukowski?

Bukowski was an alcoholic, a heavy drinker, a smoker. He used to gamble a lot and he loved women so much that he spent all his money on them and of course on the booze. He was a writer too. If you have never read anything from him, you're probably thinking what the fuck, he's the last person you would ever look to learn anything but I am telling you, he is the perfect place to learn about life.

Bukowski didn’t give a fuck about his success as a writer. Even when he was famous, he still read his poetry hammered. He still tried to sleep with every woman he could find. Fame and success didn't make him a better person. He was not any happier than before...

I don't like positive expectations such as be happier, richer,  smarter, faster, more popular, more productive, be healthier, sexier ... I despise commercials about happiness... you know, like a husband kissing his selfie-ready spouse in the morning... a breakfast, eggs and pancakes with kids and orange juice, newspapers and coffee... after breakfast he, with smiling fucking face, sits in his Mercedes going to his wonderfully fulfilling job, spending his days doing incredibly meaningful work making a tons of money....

The rest of us are just waiting for something to come. We stand in front of the mirror and repeat bullshit affirmations fooling ourselves with wishful thinking.

We waited and waited. All of us. People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn't have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You waited to eat and then you waited to eat again. You waited in office with a bunch of psychos and you wondered if you were one. - Charles Bukowski

Have you watched Waiting for Godot?

If you did not ... Waiting for Godot, published by Samuel Beckett in 1949, is a play in which two characters (Estragon and Vladimir) are waiting for someone who never comes. If you want to impress someone, you say Waiting for Godot explores themes of existentialist philosophy. The emptiness and randomness of the plot cause the audience to wonder if there any meaning in the play – or in life.

At one moment Estragon asks Vladimir what it is that he has requested from Godot:

VLADIMIR: Oh ... nothing very definite.
ESTRAGON: A kind of prayer.
VLADIMIR: Precisely.
ESTRAGON: A vague supplication (asking or begging for something).
VLADIMIR: Exactly

Sounds familiar? That is what we do all our lives.

If someone asked me to describe life in one word, that word would be... WAITING.

Our whole life we are waiting for something. We're waiting for the dawn, birthday, holiday, train, children, summer, Friday, payment, vacation, recognition, dinner, enlightenment, love, new year, answer, smile, call, truth, destiny, death ...

I have stopped waiting for Godot.

I don't really wait for anything anymore. I have no ambition, nowhere to go, no one to be or become. I don't need to distract myself from anything or convince myself of anything. There is nothing that I think isn't as it should be, and I have no hope that things will be better. I have nothing to hope for.

I don't seem to be bored or unhappy about it, so I guess it is weird.

The Waiting for Godot plays quickly because it gives situations which don't offer anything. Thus the main theme of the play and the meaning of life is set in two sentences:

ESTRAGON: Nothing to be done.
VLADIMIR: I'm beginning to come round to that opinion.


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