Wednesday, December 13, 2017

30 Things I Never Got To Tell You


I have learned that life has no explanations to give. It is an empty, meaningless flow of events that just go on and on. Whatever happens, has little or no importance. People are born, they live their pity lives... they eat, shit, fuck, work and work and work more until they die. New people are born and the circle is closed.

1. I don’t have a strong opinion about anything. I never have the opinion that I am hungry, I just know I'm hungry. Opinions and beliefs are just imagination, the bullshit.

2. I don’t stick to my point of view. I know that I don't have all information about the things or events, I don't understand all the circumstances.

3. I don't follow others. I have never had a favorite actor, player, singer etc. that I tried to imitate or be like him. I always do things in my own way.

4. I don’t indulge in senseless, waste of time, discussions. It is all just gossip. Gossiping takes energy, instead, I remove myself from boring discussions and I don’t engage in such conversation at all.

5. I don’t crave for attention. But I don't hide either.

The first and most important thing I've learned so far is that as we grow older, as time is passing by, we are becoming more and more cowards. With age, we lack the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things. Some of us appear as cynics but actually, we are just timid, easily intimidated persons.

6. I don’t do things that will make people point finger at me. 

7. I don’t worry about my life.

8. I don’t have a short temperament. I am stable and calm. I avoid quarrels at all costs.

9. I don’t allow my mind to wonder here and there always. I have strong inner-balance.

10. I don’t stay in one place all the time. I do keep moving and I change schedules frequently.

The house that we own, the money in retirement fund etc. do not really protects us. It fools us. There is no security or any rest in this world, the picture of old people on the beach is not realistic. It does not show, the pills for high blood pressure, diapers, the lack of sleep, rheumatism etc...

11. I don’t get close to others.

12. I don’t sit among people all the time. I have the privacy of my own.

13. I don’t lose my independence. I don’t depend on others in any way.

14. I don’t lose my indifference.

15. I don’t care what others think.

With the age, you start remembering the most embarrassing crap you did in your life with perfect clarity. The kind things you did will be pushed away, you will forget them. The bad things come out from the dirt of subconsciousness. Instead, to correct yourself, you start correcting other people in your life, your kids, spouse, neighbors, co-workers. With age, we have a fleeting sense of superiority over younger people so they’ll start to resent us.

16. I don’t get involved in online (or otherwise) support groups. I don't walk for cancer or aids, I don't have the urge to save the planet.

17. I don’t trust and don’t expect any respect from others.

18. I don’t participate in the acts of collective devotion, religion or political gatherings. I have never voted in any elections and I don't follow politics at all. I have never been to church mass.

19. I don’t have mind involved in fear, wishful thinking, and imagination. I don't watch TV, read or listen to the news. Those are things that fill you with negative propaganda and impressions.

20. I don’t ask others for help. I do my work on my own without complaining. I never blame anyone for anything.

There’s no meaning to life, no reward for achieving all the things we've achieved. That kind of thinking is a recipe for old worldview and is a very lonely road. All things were better back then. When you were young, the life was cheaper, happier and people were nicer. Fuck that!

21. I don’t act as the highly dynamic person but I don’t sit idle. I never rush but I always come on time. "Time is money" does not work for me. Actually, all that I have is TIME.

22. I don’t talk a lot but I don’t keep quiet.

23. I don’t eat in excess but I never observe a fast.

24. I don’t sleep a lot, I do have an adequate sleep.

25. I don’t like to be among people always but I don’t get isolated. I avoid masses.

If you think your love partner likes you, you’re probably right. If you think your spouse cheating, you’re probably right. Your gut will never betray you although you may not know all details. Your intuition is all you have in this world. It never lies to you, for the simple reason - because it does not know how! I have learned that in life you must trust intuition...

26. I don’t like to be under the dominance of a leader or boss or master. I do pretend that I'm a good follower.

27. I don’t have the indulgence of love toward anyone. I love whoever I want to love and I will do everything for people I love.

28. I don’t go after sex all the time but I like and I don’t disregard sex.

29. I don’t seek all types of experiences but I do have an appropriate conscious life.

30. I don’t tell others what I really do, the exact feelings and my true state. But I don’t just keep silent. I tell a lot, here, at my blog.

We are on our life journey, and we are at different points on this journey. Many of you are on completely different routes than I am. I have learned that there is no such thing as truth. Everything that we know is false, there are only lies.


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