Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Everything is much simpler than we think it is


Let’s put the cards on the table: Yesterday, I had a fight with my girlfriend. I told her that I was stuck with her who doesn’t deserve me, yet for so long I was ignoring clear signs of her selfishness and I failed to take the necessary steps to leave her. I am letting her go because she is the most selfish person I have ever met. Selfish... in all possible ways, lacking consideration for others, she's concerned chiefly with her own personal pleasure.

Yesterday morning I unfriended her from the Facebook, deleted her photos from Facebook, blocked her on Viber, threw away her toothbrush, and send her the last message... it is over baby. I should have done this a long time ago but for the name of love, I simply accepted my sad reality. BUT today, nothing of these actions actually worked. I cannot let her go.

This is not a breakup. It is just a fight like many couples have and I do feel ashamed now. I am frustrated, I would like to raise our relationship on the next level, I would like to spend more time with her and even start living with her.

I think love shouldn’t make me miserable or doubtful. If it does, then it’s not love. It’s only a false image of love that is controlled by desires, attachment and neediness. I follow my intuition, I'm strong, and I remember: everything is much simpler than we think it is.

No more about this.  I spoke with her last night and we discuss these questions... I love her and I will wait for her when she is done with her family obligations. 

I am making changes in my life. With the full speed ahead I'm going away from my previous stupidities. No more going out and drinking beer with my friends! I'll not resume Monday's yoga practice with them. Simply, I want solitude.

Where am I? 53 years old, single, 12K in debt, 89 kg with a huge belly... and this is my starting point. I'm going to change what can be changed. I am looking forward for a great 2018.

I woke at 5 AM. I did the first yoga practice of the year. And this practice is what I really have in my life. I'll stick to it.

I'm not going to write this blog as often as before. I'm not going to reveal details about my life anymore.  So long my friends.


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