Thursday, February 8, 2018

Motionless and silent mind

Some people has stopped following my blog, so be it. Farewell to them.

I am officially free of debt. My mortgage re-financing application project is done. I got money and I paid off all my debt. In final calculation I lost $2000 in the process due to higher interest rate, various fees and penalties. I will never do the re-financing again, it does not really worth it. Anyhow, at present I have all my credit cards and line of credit set to zero balance. I even succeed to save $200.

Last three days were turbulent and dramatic. I am not with my girlfriend anymore. Our love has come to the end. In final analysis I can only say - we had a good run. Life goes on. I have decided to be alone. I am not sure that I'd plunge myself easily in another relationship again.

I'm now a single by my own choice. I'm focusing on other things besides dating - my yoga practice, health, learning how to get through life with ease. I live in a time where great anxiety builds up over everything. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest choice I can make.

Yesterday, I had performance review with my manager and I got outstanding review - I surpass the expectations, the second year in a row. That means my bonus will be good with a great chance to get a nice salary increase. That is important. I like the work I do and my goal is to become a technical consultant. I will see the outcome of the yesterday's meeting at the end of April.

I have returned to the mat and I did second yoga practice in a row and today will be the third. Somehow all comes in place when I do yoga. Last couple of days I was feeling hurt, disappointed and empty. My definition of happiness is related to my inner balance. No matter what challenges, crossroads, and life events I come across in my journey, at the end of the day, the number of thoughts is what truly matters the most.

Overall human being in state of regular day with normal activities has about 50-70 thousands thoughts a day. Everything above that creates overthinking, stress and finally some physical body disease. When you practice meditation you may easily have 10 K thoughts a day. The real happiness is said to be when you have around 500-700 thoughts a day. A real accomplishment and my only real goal in life is to function with awareness only... with about 100-200 thoughts a day.

Beyond the mind there is no suffering. Pain is a signal that the body is overheated and requires attention. Similarly, suffering warns you that you are threatened by loss or change.

Pain is essential for the body, but none compels you to suffer. Suffering is clinging, resisting the changes. It is a sign of your unwillingness to move on, to flow with life.

I try so hard to totally accept the present moment, to be with harmony with things as they happen. I really don't want things to be different from what they are, because, considering all factors, some things are unavoidable.

Not being in a relationship helps me to drastically cut my daily thoughts. The feelings are major generator of thoughts. If feelings are not disturbed everything is possible. I need to be able to have my feelings under control when I am alone, and when I love and respect myself.

If you're reading this post so far, you're probably really bored and, at the moment, have no one to be with. Whether you long for a partner, or miss your family and friends, this post can help you. Pay attention to your thoughts. Know what are you thinking about. Those are things that bothers you... Try to understand the reason why are you overthinking things and why you're making yourself miserable.

My reader, I wish you motionless and silent mind which responds quickly without concerns about the response. In order to get there please take care of number of thoughts you have, that's all. Good luck. 😉

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