Wednesday, March 20, 2019

...not me!


There is nothing peculiar in the present event to make it different from the past and future. For a moment the past was actual and the future will become so. What makes the present so different? Obviously, my presence. I am real for I am always now, in the present, and what is with me now shares in my reality. The past is in memory, the future - in imagination.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going on well deserved vacation. In last week alone I've worked 18 hours overtime, I feel exhausted. Next week I will spend in Mayan Riviera at Barcelo Grand Resort. I have been there 3 times already and I know how nice it is. This time I am going with my girlfriend and I will celebrate my 54th birthday there.

I still feel on the inside very much like a teenager. The fact of the matter is I don't know how to grow up, and it seems like everyone around me already has.

Take, for example, the whole thing about the career. You are running after career, you want to take the opportunity become the boss, manager, senior analyst or whatever you're striving for ... not me. I am a simple computer programmer. The coder.

The part of the success at work is the experience of spending on average one to two hours a day commuting: car, train, bus... not me. I am 20 minutes door to door, from my home to work.

You work in the office from eight until six, watching the clock, wishing the morning away so you could go to lunch, wishing the afternoon away so you could go home... not me. I enjoy my work, I am good at what I do.

And at home, you collapse on a couch watching shitty CNN until you start snoring. Ha, the weekends are actually worse because that's when everything that didn't get done during the week had to be done. You know, the kid's stuff... not me. I have no such obligations, I have no cable, I don't watch TV in the last 6 years.

Your vision of happiness is related to success. Not for me... I see happiness on rare moments when I have no feeling of "myself", when my eyes shine bright and when my vision is so clear. It last for awhile and then it is gone. I fall again in daily stupidities.

It does not matter where do you live, all over the world there is this feeling that something is deeply wrong with our world. I am feeling it so clearly; an unnamed busyness keeps me disconnected from the simplicity of life.


The world is run by big corporations; they want economic growth at all costs producing stress, depression and apathy for the rest of us. We work hard just to pay monthly bills.

I have wondered about the people who run the corporations? They are also humans but they are not humans. They are apart from human nature. They posses (or are possessed) by mentality of a predatory spirit who embodies greed; their gluttony and selfishness transformed them into a predatory monsters.

The corporations run this planet by employing tactics of division, celebrating wants and artificial needs for general consumption, creating mass poverty and fear as a system of control. And we fall for it. We buy stuff that we don't need.

According to the statistics... In the last 15 years, the average Canadian home has grown from 1,000 square feet to almost 2,500 square feet. The Canadians consume twice as many food and material goods today as they did 50 years ago. All while carrying, on average, nearly $15,000 in credit-card debt... not me. I live in 550 sq feet apartment and I have no debt.



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