Monday, May 13, 2019

Where do I want to go?

Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take"? she asked.
"Where do you want to go"? responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know." Alice answered.
"Then", said the cat. "it doesn't matter".

This passion of attaining self-realization gives me a sense of purpose in my life. If I lose sight of if, I will not only lose that purpose but I will also lose myself. So I keep chasing my dream. That is the most important thing of my life and nothing can come even close to it.

I don't believe that anything and anybody existed prior to myself. I don't believe in history, in evolution in big-bang universe. Prior to my Beingness nothing was and after me nothing will be.

If I review process of creation I can see that at it's very base is that I do not know myself, and suddenly the feeling of "I" appears. The moment it appears, on borderline of deep sleep and being awake, in a split second, "I am" sense appears and I know myself. Then thoughts start racing and "Zee" as a person starts functioning.

The whole process of awakening is actually traveling away from person towards pure "I am" sense which on the end of journey must be seen as imagination. I have to discard whatever I know to go there.

This world is based on various personalities, on individual characters. It is pure play which just happening and I am not playing a part. When I am ignorant, I think I am playing a part in this world by simply imagining a player. But that is just imagination, there are no player, everything is happening spontaneously.

The sum and substance of my life is nothing but to come to a firm decision, make a judgment, about myself (what I am?) and the world (what is it?) If I pay attention to the world I am good as dead. My path is opposite of the world's activities. Direction is clear - seeing everything as imagination. That is final goal of my life's journey.

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