Thursday, September 26, 2019

There never was any journey...


You are conditioned thinking that you are on a journey. You want to be rich, to be famous, to be smart and that is causing a feeling of lack so you are seeking something to destroy that feeling. Your life is just endless cycle of accumulating wealth, knowledge and experiences.

Once I was just like you. At age of 29, I've arrived in Canada with my 8 months old daughter, ex-wife and $10K. I was learning English working hard as a dishwasher. After a year or so I got a job as a computer programmer.

Although lacking clear direction in my 40s I sensed that there was more to life than met my eye and that society as it is now and that our culture, religion, science, philosophy, and psychology are missing the point.

My spiritual awakening

On January 2nd, 2001, I stumbled upon Emerald Tablets of Thoth. I tried to read it but I did not understand anything although I liked it, so on that day, I started the search for truth. My intuition suggested that the esoteric books, especially theosophy possess knowledge of the "truth" so I read and studied it extensively for two years.

From Madam Blavatsky, I moved to Carlos Castaneda then Gurdjieff. For couple of years I was performing self-observation and self-remembering practice. I must admit, I had all kinds of "spiritual" experiences and I taught I was progressing...

Then I started reading Ramana Maharshi. When I read his teaching for the first time I was shocked to find out that myself is nothing visible or perceivable... Then came Nisargadatta, Ranjit Maharaj, and their master Siddharameshwar.

My spiritual search finished with Jed McKenna. After him, I stopped reading books and I stopped doing meditation, I had spiritual realization - nothing in this world has any value.

Life is meaningless

Life has no explanations to give you. It is an empty, meaningless flow of events that just go on and on. Whatever happens, has little or no importance. People are born, they live their lives... until they die.

As you grow older, as time is passing by, you are becoming more and more a coward. With age, you lack the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things. You may appear as a cynic but actually, you are just timid, easily intimidated person.

The house that you own, the money in retirement fund etc. do not really protect you. It fools you. The picture of old couple on Florida beach is not realistic. It does not show pills for high blood pressure, diapers, the lack of sleep, rheumatism etc...

There’s no meaning to life, no reward for your "great" achievements.

You see the world as you are

Don't be your enemy! You doubt, complicate life, cloud your mind with unimportant thoughts and negativity, you punish yourself, hate yourself and then feel sorry for yourself because you create the experience that your life is a living hell.

Life is tough for everyone. The richest of the rich have problems. The poorest of the poor have problems. We live on a planet where everything decays, where nothing lasts.

You create your experience of your world through your thoughts and desires, the world does not actually exist on its own. Your thought give existence to the world.

If you think your love partner likes you, you’re right. If you think your partner cheating you, you’re right. If you are in relationship, don't think too much about your partner. Release control over things and let things happen on their own.

It is important to be completely independent and to know how to care for yourself.

Nothing is true

I am not a pessimist, I am not an optimist, I am a realist. In my 54 years, I have learned that there is no such thing as truth. Everything is fake, "I" sense is an illusion, so whatever we do is also the illusion.

I've reached a point when I’m happy with small things. I have no more expectations from life. The world as we know is false but living in this world and knowing our own insignificance is the source of true happiness.

My life philosophy is very close to Existential Nihilism. People hate the nihilism because its terrifying to them. They want to hold on to hope and they believe deep down that life has a meaning and a purpose.

There never was any journey... your happiness is your choice.




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