Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Chasing the wind...

How many times I heard my father told me: When I was your age, children knew to respect their parents. then, he will continue... When I was your age, I had to walk to school ten miles. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways. I use to finish his sentence before he said it. Do you think this is funny? It was but it is not anymore. I actually used this phrase last week when talking to my daughter. For the first time in my life I told her, well, when I was your age...

If you take away all the smoke and mirrors, all the false smiles, and all the deceit, you can clearly see that we as a humanity are steadily chasing the wind. In all seriousness, we've done nothing in our life but fool ourselves thinking that we have achieved something.

Not so long ago my father was a successful and respectful man and now he is alone. My mother passed away four years ago and he is now living trying to organize his life the best as he can. His main activities are watching TV, buying groceries and going to funerals. He is also very careful to get his medications on time.

That is life. We spend it working, building houses, saving money, raising kids... and what do we have on the end? Generations come and go, the world stays the same. The sun still rises, it still goes down, the wind blows, river flows into the sea, but the sea is not yet full. The water returns to the sky, the rain brings it down, all starts over again.

Our fate as a humankind is tragic and funny at the same time. We have nowhere to go, nothing to do.

At very early age they put us in schools to learn the difference between knowledge and stupidity, wisdom and foolishness. But we have not learned much, rather we have became lonely beings.

In years after divorce I decided to enjoy myself and find out what happiness is. Back then I cheer myself up with beer and wine and had a good time with women. I thought that that might be the best way spending the rest of my life on earth. But what I've found is that most of my laughter was empty, and small pleasures were like mirage.

The wisdom is not better than foolishness, just as day is not better than night. You may say, the smart knows where he is going, and a stupid doesn't. But I know that there is no destination, the same fate is waiting everyone.

So life came to mean nothing to me, because everything in it had brought me nothing. I am just chasing the wind. So be it. I don't fear and I don't panic. I am comfortable with myself and confident in my true independence.

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