Stand by me...

What a weekend, I am still singing... daring, darling, stand... stand by me. Neither rain nor snow could not spoil a good time. Unfortunately I cannot post the pictures because my girlfriend is not a fan of publicity.

My dear friends this was a weekend to remember. My girlfriend came on Friday night and we opened the first bottle of wine. We went to dinner at Bonimi restaurant and after met my friends. We ended up in 3030 club and we danced and danced. We went to sleep around 4 am.

We slept almost half of Saturday, outside was terrible rain and wind. Around 5pm my daughter came with her friend and we stayed at my place to 9 pm. Then we went to Swan pub and had couple of drinks.

My friends met us in Swan and we went to Fregatta night club. We danced and had more drinks. After Fregatta we again came to 3030 until closing and then we all went to a small pub on Dundas street until 3:30 am.

My girlfriend just left home and I will go to take a nap. I had to do yearly assessment of my work, a long time overdue task.  Other than that there is nothing else for me to do. I'm returning to my main life's goal - self-realization.

I have never disregarded awakening and being a conscious human being. My life is not a rush and I am not living in a frantic tempo. Not because I want to, but because I've stopped comparing myself to anyone. I've stopped competition with others. I am not interested of what others do.

I have done many things in my life and I don't regret any of it. The unrealistic perception of life is the base of all problems. I try to laugh at my life as many times as I can. I know, my laugh does not solve anything and yet...

It’s wonderful when you find meaning and purpose in life. I am not there. I have no idea what my purpose is. I’m not talking about my job, my daily responsibilities, or even my long-term goals, which I don't really have, I mean the real reason why I'm here at all — the very reason I exist.

I'm rather a nihilistic realist who doesn’t believe neither in God nor in conspiracy theories. Many books seem to assume that we're either genetically (read - divinely) encoded with some sort of built-in purpose, and all we need to do is take the time to discover it.

Every day in subway, on the street, at work, I see people and I feel so vividly their emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking of something. My feelings merge with them and then I don't see anyone anymore.

It sounds boring to say but nothing will happened to us, we will not change and we will not understand, we will not understand that world is pulled over our mind and made us slaves.

This might come as a surprise, but it is more likely that you simply refuse to see it. Memory, opinions and beliefs, how you see yourself and others and even your sense of existence, are not as they seem. Our daily world, what we take for granted, our day-to-day existence is most of the time just a product of our imagination. We're living a mirage in a desert of our memories.

The power of our delusions is staggering, yet, the beliefs and opinions are necessary to help us function in the world. The world is supported by our "sleep" and the Nature does not want us to "wake up".

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