About zmark.ca

Welcome to zmark.ca;
a blog that brings you the latest news about awakening, yoga and my daily life.


I am Zee, 52 years old, divorced, semi-normal person, of average intelligence. I am an Ashtanga yoga practitioner from Toronto, Canada. I am writing a blog about awakening, yoga and everyday life.

My entire life journey has led me to this very moment in time. I finally arrived at a place where I am okay with the truth that there is no truth.

Everything is fake, "I" sense is an illusion, so whatever we do is also the illusion.

People are always talking about truth. Everybody always knows what the truth is, but what you learn, as you investigate... there is no truth. All there is is bullshit Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another.

Whatever life we have, whatever entertainment we occupy ourselves with, we think that it leads somewhere, moves us toward some desired goal, that there is meaning in it, but the meaning is just a creation of our imagination where everything is real, but nothing is true.


...this incessant stubborn dying,
this living death,
that slays you,oh God,
in your rigorous handiwork,
in the roses, in the stones,
in the indomitable stars and in the flesh that burns out,
like a bonfire lit by a song,
a dream,
a hue that hits the eye. 

...and you, yourself,
perhaps have died eternities of ages out there,
without us knowing about it,
we dregs, crumbs, ashes of you;
you that still are present,
like a star faked by its very light,
an empty light without star that reaches us,
hiding,
its infinite catastrophe.

- Death Without End by Jose Gorostiza


Life is not a serious thing. Nothing is serious.

It seems to me that the way most people go on living, they think that the world is supposed to be a logical and consistent place. Well, that is not the case.

Our misery comes from our idea that the world is true. 

We assume that if the world is true then we are also true. This self-importance is the main reason for the feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness, and anxiety. We spend a great deal of effort maintaining the illusion of our life.

We work very hard to make it as solid as possible and never venture too close to the meaning of it. Otherwise, we would see right through it and find yourself looking into a mirage. Then we may see our life for what it really is... the great lie.

Now, I've reached a point when I’m happy with small things. I have no more expectations from life. This is a shocking realization. It’s hard to look at the life - at all of my work and effort and time and energy and hopes and dreams - and to face an emptiness in its cold and dark perspective.

No matter how much we understand about life or don’t, we still have to do the living. 

Do you want more of life? Do you want to try to catch it with your hands, swallow it raw; make it a part of you? Do you want to be there when it happens? OK then, don't be numb, create opportunities, feel the air on your skin, wake up and run after it, without apologizing. Know what life is, let it spins you around for life is an addiction. Please do, consume the delusions like a drug, because it helps you feel alive, twirl and twirl and get dizzy.

The meaning of all of this is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. There is nothing here to be achieved. When your dizziness subsides you'll see that your misery is not fixed. Do yourself a favor, stop worrying. I’m not saying run, there is nowhere to run, I’m saying, things will take care of themselves, so intend the best and spin your world again and again...

It’s painful to say, but this should be it.

Thank you for visiting my blog.