I am 54 years old and finally I have discovered what do I want to accomplish in this life?

I want to remove wrong identity with everything that is not myself. And I mean everything - my physical body, senses, thoughts, imagination, expectation, emotions etc.

For the rest of my life I have only this task - to be one-pointed - to be CLEAR OF THOUGHTS.

Having the energy means to be in THOUGHT-FREE state of mind. This energy gives determination and brings one-pointless of my interests which will bring me closer to the experience of a state beyond the expression of thoughts.

No-thought state of the mind, Peace or Presence, is the ENTRY POINT TO SELF-REALIZATION, to experience of Reality.

Thoughts are inconsistent with realization. Thoughts are one thing and realization of the Self is quite another.

So I will take care mentally to be clear of thoughts and fix my mind, whatever I may do, in that state.

Intellectual understanding of this practice is of enormous importance because it supplies the purpose of the practice. Thoughts are my own misunderstanding and they give experience of the world. Thoughts can be spontaneous, superficial and analytical.

The individuality of imaginary person is the "sense" of a perceiver of thoughts and their "continuity". and it gives Time. This individuality is Ego or "I". The Ego only exists in relation to something "other" than itself.

Personality idea is the root of all thoughts and it is linked to the first thought, I-thought. The mind, which is nothing else but a constant stream of translation, expectation and imagination around I-thought is by nature restless.

The practice is to completely remove superficial thoughts fro the thinking process. I must look inwardly all the time. This is my goal. This is my practice.

Mind, peaceful and just alert, ready to think but without thoughts is required state. I must pay attention, it is not a dull, zombie mind but fully alert mind without thoughts - that is the state of being CONSCIOUS.

The rest of my life will be observation of external world and its activities but without my own involvement and interests, without any attachments and unnecessary thinking. I will be a passive observe of the world.

I will ignore the world as much as I can, and be fixed in the present moment and act accordingly to the nature of situation I am in, without superficial thoughts. For this I need tremendous courage.

A long periods of solitude and restrained speech in company of others should be learned and embedded as my deep habit. Before I say anything, I must be sure that I am not talking from the Ego perspective but from inner peace from thought free state of mind. This requires energy, the strength, which comes from the feeling of presence. Other than that my talking is just blabbering.

The world is as it is. I supply all the meaning, importance or non importance to the events of the world. It is all my own imagination. Daily activities go on automatically, my mind which promoting events and describing them is not a real thing but a phantom. So I should not try to control the phantom, non-existent thing, the annihilation of my thoughts is my aim.

Considering superficial thoughts is a weakness and an indication of a low energy. It comes from wrong understanding of the world. The world and all activities in the world are fake things, there is no truth in them, they are only lies. Everything is based on a pride, on imaginary accomplishments and personal selfishness.

The world is imagination. To end imagination I should not let myself be involved. My effort in this area is an essential factor. Book reading, meditation, yoga, is not enough. In fact, there is no real practice. I must keep my mind ready to think but without thoughts and that is my natural state, nothing special. It is EXISTENCE itself.

From now, I am relinquishing all notions of the past and future, all my habitual mentality. I will not consider thoughts about past anymore. I am cutting off all plans and expectations with respect to the future. And in this moment, in the presence, I will not entertain thoughts that arise but I will remain in a state like a sky, clear and aware.

July 29, 2019