Let it begin, 2020... the greatest shitstorm of our time


2020 has arrived. I went to sleep at 2 am and I got up at 6 am. I am eager to tell you something... I do all sorts of things just to get attention. It is so natural, I want to be heard and noticed. In such moments I feel alive. So I fulfill the purpose of life - to be and feel alive.

In new year I am going to continue writing this blog and to have minimum of 183 yoga practices. Here I go, I have set the goals for 2020.

Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved as D.H. Lawrence said, but do you know how we live? We live like slaves, like a mindless robots going through the motions of life, but not really alive.

If you think we're free because we've some fancy alternative beliefs and outlook, we eat healthy, we do yoga, don't eat meat, we have an alternative business, we don't watch TV, we're trying to save planet for future generations and we're trying to save our body for retirement.

Well, these "alternative" lifestyle doesn't make us different from the rest of the "uninitiated" crowd. They do exactly the same in their own way. We're only dreaming that we're different. We don't recognize this so we think we're unique and no hope for us to change really exist.


Our thinking and our beliefs are the cause of our failure to wake up. We don't see what's perfectly obvious. We do things to earn money, to get rid of stress and to have a happy life. Smoke and mirrors!

By having a lots of money, a large house and a new car are things to keep us fooled and they maintain our self-deception. Our happiness is ill-defined: it's about acquiring it, it's not about enjoying it.

We are so busy, we don't have a time for the enjoyment anyway.

We think that a "soul" or a "spirit", is necessary to do what we do and live as we live. But perhaps it is just enough to have a key for winding up the spring of our mechanism.

Our daily portion of food help us to wind up and renew our purposeless web of associations again and again. From this background we select separate thoughts with attempt to connect them into a whole and pass them off as a valuable and as our own.

We pick up our feelings and sensations, moods and experiences and out of all this we create the mirage of inner life, call ourselves conscious and reasoning beings, talk about yoga, meditation, God, about eternity, about eternal life and other "high" matters.

We speak about everything imaginable, judge, discuss, define, evaluate but we omit to talk about ourselves, about who we really are, about our real value, for we are convinced that if there is anything lacking in us, we can buy it or we can learn it...



Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take"? she asked.
"Where do you want to go"? responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know." Alice answered. "Then", said the cat. "it doesn't matter".
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

We are actually not going anywhere! We're only convinced ourselves that we are going somewhere.

Yeah, we are waiting for a perfect job, perfect spouse, perfect house and retirement with a lot of sunshine and long walks on the beach. So we watch how we live... We call that self-conscious living.

However, the subtext of our current life is in a future. We are missing the present, we are really missing the life but so what, we take care of our Facebook page, world peace, your health, prosperity, and so on.

Our life is like a race car without an engine. It looks very cool, large house, a good job, happy kids... but it has no engine. We slip in behind the wheel and make whroom sounds and turn the wheel and shift gears and pretend we're rocketing toward happiness.

But when we get tired of it in five or ten years, we'll get out of that exactly where we got into it. Lonely, tired and disappointed. We have missed the awakening my friend.

You see, the awakening is neither no mind, blank mind, empty mind nor stopped mind. Awakening is not Nirvana. Nir means not or without and vana means a flame. Desire-less mind is an oxymoron. Awakening is not The Now. Awakening is neither the Oneness nor any other transcendental state, such states of consciousness are experiences. Awakening is not the Ethereal Bliss. Awakening is neither a special status nor some kind of attainment.

We are awake when we clearly see that our beliefs, knowledge, understanding, experience, the world, our life, our relationships... when we clearly see that none of it, means anything. When we see that, then it begins... The greatest shitstorm of our time.