Blue skies, sandy beach... I just named two awesome things


Cuddling, kissing, loving... you know what's awesome? EVERYTHING! Everything is awesome, everything is cool ... let's push it now to the extreme... Everything is awesome... when I'm living my dream.

Please suspend judgment. Don't come to read my blog with your common sense. You will never find out what I'm writing about if you read my blog just to see am I writing about personal things.

I am writing about myself but I am directing my words to you. You can say - I have read your posts and they are infantile. You're are boring. Don't write that way...

I get it, I only want to tell you that common sense and wishful thinking are killing you. You hold onto them with all your strength without even noticing.

I don't go around and talk this to people. In reality, I'm not needy of your attention. I am a straightforward story teller. So I do this for me and the universe at first place and I see you as the witness. That's all.

It is my game. I am a chauffeur. I do not lead a double life. I live this life. There is no gap between what I say here and what I do. I am not here to set you the way I am. What I am writing about is just the entertainment. So don't be offended! Cheers.


See, you always leave a safety valve in your life, whatever you do you have second option, you're trying to sit on two chairs. You don't take a responsibility that you are alive, here and now.

Do you want to live like your parents? Do you want to die like your mother or father? What are you going to do to avoid dying that way? I know the answer - Nothing. A terrifying moment, if you think about it, it is going to hunt you.

The thing is.. you are the center of the universe... When you read words like "house" or "book" or "United Nations", in your mind, you invoke a universe of detail with a single word; that's magic. You're visual creator of the universe.

You could lick the house, smell it, touch it... and it wouldn't tell you anything. But one word, and you know everything there is to know: the sweet home, real estate opportunity, mortgage or whatever.

You don't even need to look, you already see your spouse and kids sitting inside. Your universe is a string of detail, an avalanche of wishful thinking so actually you don't see the world, you merely interpret it on its own way.

This interpretation system made you lazy and cynical. What's happened to you? What's "real"? This hard, shitty, meaningless daily world? Why there is so much remorse in your life? Why? Because, you live with mistaken identity and wrong concepts.

The interpretation system can be interrupted, it is learned, not final. You got caught in the details of everyday life. There are options other than your life of habits and repetition.

Attention is only what you really have in this life. Your money, house, car etc.. are nothing. You only have attention. And they steal it from you, moment by moment, by routine, repetition and busyness.

The fullness of your attention counts. Respond to this world with all you have, be fluent, eloquent, with a sense of urgency and be final and elegant. Feel time approaching you. Sense the urgency, the past is gone and there is no tomorrow.

As you are now, you're watching how time recede. You have to turn around and let the time comes on you. That way, there are no wishful thinking, nothing needs explanations, nothing is presupposed, nothing neatly explained.


I will tell you a great secret of life. There isn't one. Life has no explanation to give you.

I don't have a tendency to think what will come and nothing keeps me chained to the past. My life of last year, doesn't exist anymore.

Are you still looking for "love", "friendship" and "companionship"?  Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying, "Does my darling loves me?"

You say... there's still so much that you want to do! What do you mean?

You have to learn to love again. They never taught you about love. They taught you how to seduce, to kiss, to envy, to fuck and hate. You don't even love yourself, otherwise you wouldn't have put yourself to live this life full of neuroses.

All your worries are by products of what you say... I have to do that, got that! I need, I must! I want it now! You are thinking you're the hottest dick or pussy in town. You have never seen your life from the observer point, you have never had time for that.

Recapitulate your life ... start with the list of your relationships. Remember it, see it again, see the patterns, the surrounding, the dialogue. Then get to the person, the feelings, emotions. What were you saying? Watch! Don't analyze, just observe... you'll be shocked; you'll see patterns of repetition that will shock you.

And that's the inner you - pathetic and unloved. All you can do is put on an appearance of confidence sometimes. And after a while, others start to believe you because they are just the same as you.