Monday, October 7, 2019

I'm going to explain you about life, buddy!


I am 54... after 50 things are weird. In 20s you hope something will come. Whatever life you have, in 30s you are always talking about truth. Whatever you occupy yourself with, you think that it leads somewhere, moves you toward some goal, that there is meaning in it. When you rich 40s, you think you already know so many "truths", like it were toilet paper or something and you got a supply in the closet.

But what you learn, as you go beyond 50, is there ain't no truth. You clearly see that the meaning, once you cherished so preciously, is just a creation of your imagination where everything is real...  but not true.

You are no longer certain what your purpose is. Your relatives and friends start disappearing from your life. Seeing the dear people vanishing from your world, you may feel somewhat alienated, what drove you in the 30s and 40s no longer drives you in 50s.

my home

Yup, all there is is a bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life after 50, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that's your bullshit, so to speak...

What I have learned so far, in a gradual manner with lot of mistakes, is that by being alone I have left the ordinary life behind and that I must adopt a new way of life if I am going to survive. I have to be a warrior, to proceed strategically, with a great care for my well being.

To be alone is something big. The frightening nature of being divorced leaves me no alternative but to choose with whom I share my time. I realized that my death is the only friend that will be with me until the end. Without the awareness of death I am just an ordinary, complaining man involved in daily activities without sense.

Everything what I will do from now on will be a folly in regard to myself and my world because nothing matters. Certain things in people's life matter to them because they feel they are important. For me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts nor the acts of anyone that I know. Really, it doesn't matter to me that nothing matters.

my home

Do not believe a word I say. Experiment on yourself. You do not have to go anywhere. Just where you are right now, begin to spend time diving within yourself, watching your life, witnessing your own bullshit.

If you make yourself deprived of illusions, imagination and hopes - if you are deprived of your interests, your cares and expectations - your world would collapse, you would become empty, hopeless and alone. It is the place to be, a great start in right direction.

This would be the death of "you", the death of everything it consisted of, the destruction of all your bullshit collected through ignorance and inexperience. All experiences will remain in you merely as material, but subject to evaluation. Then you will be able to choose for yourself and not have imposed on you what others like. You will have the conscious choice.

...and this is what you need to know.

my home

Being empty of all mental content, of all imagination and effort, will cause life to rush in. When you demand nothing of the world when you want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then LIFE will come to you uninvited and unexpected.

The life is a dream, your dream, your show. It is your world. There is no one else here, just you, and nothing is being withheld from you. You are completely on your own. Everything is available to you.

No one else has anything you need. No one else can lead you, pull you, push you or carry you. No one else is necessary to your success.

The life is your dream because you are asleep and you can wake up. If you understand that, you will understand that I am giving you the best news you could possibly receive. You are welcome 😉



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