Oh man... Friday

I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that's not easy. - Marilyn Monroe
Yup Marilyn. It's not easy.😉

This week is slowly ending. I am living my life on the edge. Today I went for a short walk at High Park, yesterday I had a coffee at Starbucks and two days ago I cut my hair.

I wrote the last post, offending 80% of my readers? Good. Go find another blog to read for free. This blog is about genuine spiritual wisdom. I don’t even like the word “spiritual”. It’s about life, you know, what happens when you discover that you are nothing.

Yes, we're changing. One thing’s true in this life, we all change. Nothing within me is truly the same as a month ago, just as nothing around me is like a month ago.

I love life, I love this world. Let's get together and change it one hug at a time! Burn some incense, do yoga! Save trees, save animals, eat organic, shit in toilets.

I love spirituality, the light and happiness, it’s good for my heart, which opens once a year when I've temporary healed from painful things. But pain is not so bad! And good isn't good sometimes, sometimes the bad is good. Awareness grows.

Hey, that brings me: one time, (shhh, when my divorce happen) I went through some painful things, I tried to be an observer in HIGHER SELF (capital letters) not just this lowercase shitty self.

I saved myself from myself by being the HIGHER SELF and I did breathing. Yes, prana when things went tough. I've heard that breathing is healthy. Particularly breathing in and out, it went so well for me. I'm grateful. Really.

Oh yes, I did the third practice this afternoon, it helped me with heartburn and to get sober from last night's drinking at my friend's house.

Last night a girlfriend of my friend told me she likes to read my blog but she does not like yoga posts. I told her this joke: A boy put a parrot in a fridge and forgot about it. After 5 hours he opens the fridge and he tells to the parrot: "What do my eyes see here?" The parrot replied: "a penguin, mother fucker!!!"

That's right... what you are reading here is nothing but YOGA. I have accumulated enough experiences and life lessons that I'm able to see that my life, just like yours, is run by countless number of worthless placebos.

I do examination of my life and I see it for what it is - a mere bullshit of no importance with some imagined ups and downs...

I don't know anything, I slip into this bullshit that is laid out for me the way a foot slip in the shoe. I decide nothing, I don't live this life by choice, but by default. I play the roles I am born to. I don't know any better, and I don't know the reason why I don't know any better.

You are not different from me. You're trained to please everyone around you because you crave for approval. Yes, that's it. Approval makes you feel good and loved. You see, I have no self-approval, so I don't seek it from others.

You're so timid and afraid to insult anybody, but on the end, you please no one. I’m telling you, all the people get pissed off at you and me for not meeting their demands.

I had a friend (past tense). I paid him so much meals and drinks, took him around, he slept at my place many times... but I refused to be his guarantor for renting an apartment because I am sure he is incapable of paying the rent. He got mad and he cut me off. Yup, shit happens.

I am bored and I am going to watch Netflix movies now. Tomorrow is a big day, the party at my girlfriend's place. The weather forecast is not so good, 15 cm of snow is expected so that complicates things... oh well, sweet suffering.

Suffering is a base of life existence so lets breathe!!!
(like we have a choice to do anything else)