What, Why, When, How, Where and Who

The questions you wanted to ask and
the answers you were afraid to know

You may have noticed the photos of my girlfriend are gone, I have removed them, just because. This is my blog and let it stays that way...

Since Sunday, our text messages have been slowed down, we became distant and somehow indifferent. I’ve come to realization that period of infatuation is ended.

Granted, infatuation is a beautiful thing. It is the beginning of a relationship where intimacy, daily text messages and phone calls are at maximum.

To be infatuated is to be in heaven. It is essential for a joyful life. It is wonderful, most creative force in life. But sometimes the infatuation creates emotional, physical, spiritual, mental and financial turmoil.

When everything is finished, after the first shock wears off, we feel a slight sting of remorse and guilt for what's ahead.

I feel I should not fall in love 

Six weeks ago I got my black shirt and went for a date and I met a woman, complete stranger. Since then, things got crazy, we were seeing each other every weekend and we had blast. We had a great time, dancing, smiling, going out.

You might think of falling in love as a romantic thing, following your heart is great but sometimes very stupid. Sometimes making connections becomes scary, and you feel the need to protect yourself instead of reaching out with an open heart.

There are many reasons why I choose to opt out of falling in love with her. I’ve been burned before. I got hurt and disappointed in my previous relationship so I'm reluctant to take another risk. I know very well some other times when I got my heart broken when I thought “I should’ve known, I really should’ve known”... So now, I just want to avoid repeating the same mistake.

You know what... I don't easily get emotional about love and if I tell my partner that I love her or send her heart emoji, all I am doing is the flowery speech. In this world, the "love" is a commonplace word. It is just a word, it is hardly expressed in relationship that barely last couple of weeks.

When you start seeing someone and you really like that person you don’t actually fall in love with her instantly. The experienced feeling is infatuation. And infatuation, as much as it feels like love, eventually fade.

There’s a difference between falling in love and finding her attractive and interesting. Just because I find her attractive, fun and really wonderful doesn’t mean I love her.

There is nothing wrong in thinking that she is wonderful, and there’s no rule that forces me to fall in love with everyone who seems wonderful. For all I know, the happy feeling I experience when I meet her is just an admiration for her, and not necessarily love.

Falling in love is the easiest thing to do, but backing away from it can be extremely painful and slow. So I'll take my time.

What exactly do women want?

Women are a way more complex creatures from me. And, they operate on a different wavelength than me - especially when it comes to relationship.

I have carefully observed general population of women between 40 and 50. I have discovered that they are not the great mystery that I often make them out to be.

The most important need for women is to feel safe in the presence of a loving man. So respect her opinions, careers, interests, friends. You don't have to agree with all that she says or does, but try to honor her opinions. Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

Women like and want sex. Yes, they love sex, and lots of it. From small physical touches to the pure fucking. They can never, ever, have too many orgasms.

Very few women like just sex, for most, the sex should be waived around romance. The romance is important. Nice dinner, glass of wine, tender touch and dry kiss - are the things that made her fall in love and take her mind of bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to be taken care of.

The fourth thing every women want is humor. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain her, but just being able to laugh is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

Hope - a cruel joke the universe plays on us
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. But we're just deceiving ourselves.

We think we are capable of thinking very clearly, purposefully and directly but that is not the case. Our self-deception is this constant hope that something better will come. The result of this hope is our confusion of the present moment.

Having created the image, the idea, the theory, the belief - the hope, we then look to our creation to bring about better life. We're not aware of this speculations. Anxiety and hope, both are born of wishful thinking.

We are too easily satisfied with words. We appear to be wise but what we are doing is just to hope that something will happen.

Our entire life was nothing but a hope of better things to come and that inspires us to struggle and strive, resist and persist in order to keep our direction. The hope gave us energy and the will to succeed. But of course, in the universe of opposing forces we usually meet confusion and ended up in despair.

Nothing in life is constant. There is neither happiness nor sadness. There are only the changes in our moods that continuously oscillate between these two extremes.