Saturday, May 9, 2020

The last goodbye to my sister 😢

My sister passed away. It makes no sense and never will. When my niece told me, I lay down on the floor of my bedroom and howled. Nobody prepares you for this moment.

My sister sent me this photo on March 13, 2020. She was visiting our father, who told me that she was not feeling well then. She went to see doctor on March 19th. The doctor said all is good, no need to worry. On March 31st she was accepted to hospital and she did coronavirus test. She was diagnosed negative but she had a deep and strong pneumonia.

On April 3rd she was moved to intensive care and she was put on respirator. Couple times she was feeling better and they tried to get her off the artificial ventilation but with no or very little success. She died today at 8:30 am, May 9th, 2020, local time.

I'm fond of life but I have never loved this world. There are people who love this planet, they we'll do anything to be alive. I am not the one of them. This world is too painful to be a good place for living. I know my sister is in a better place now.

At this moment, my heart has been turned into stone, and sank inside, like a rock, in the deep bottom of the ocean. Life had slapped me in the face. Again. But this time, very hard.

This is it. The end of dreams, where hopes are faded away like a piece of paper down the drain. It really hurt. So badly. And there is nothing I can do.

I will miss her to the end of my life.

I saw your star faded from the sky
Only the memories I will hold
With my blessing you go
Turn your lights to a path that leads home

I'll see you again I cannot tell
I'll say this last goodbye
We came all this way
But now comes the day

Zoki, I bid you a very fond farewell

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