Sunday, August 23, 2020

I just got dumped and it is the best thing that could have happened to me
 Sunset Grill Toronto breakfast place at Bloor St.

I can easily recognize the patterns in my life. Whenever I spend time looking at myself my girlfriend (whoever I am in relationship with) has to protest.

In the last three days I was so busy at work. I worked entire Friday night, from 10 pm to 5 am, and Saturday, from 10 am to 8 pm. I went to bed last night at 8:30 pm and I slept until 6 am this morning. That's how I was tired.

I was poised to finish the project and I was stuck in the REST and UI code for long time. I had to make it working . I did not respond to text messages I was completely focused on my work.

Anyway, I got this message from my girlfriend. It looks like she wants more of my time, more walking, keeping our hands together, talking bullshit and spending money on restaurants. Well, I am not into it like I used to be.

I told her couple of times that I just want sex. Our dreams and ambitions never quite seemed to match up, and when they did, it was only for a short period of fun time.

We had fun when we were around other people, on dancing floor, drinking and laughing but whenever I stayed with her alone at my place I would go crazy. We are not compatible and I cannot stand her way of talking and thinking. She needs a husband and I am not such material.

Call it destiny or fate or pure dumb luck, but when I look back on our relationship, I can tell that we were never meant to follow the same road. The direction I was aching to travel in wasn’t even marked on her map. Staying together would have only meant holding each other back.

I am really thanking her for a breakup. It is the best thing that could happen to me in this moment.

Just woke up. Still sleepy but happy.

Obsessing, repressing, acting like everything was fine when it so clearly wasn’t is not so good. Things like this left me with nothing but good feelings without confusion and no regrets. I wish her all the best in her future endeavors.

There are few breakups in which I can say I was totally satisfied, and this one is no different. The space she left in my heart once she was gone only made room for a new love, a better love, for a woman who wants the same as me.

My daughter, my 💝

That's all for this Sunday. I have to do yoga. I have neglected my practice, I did not do it in the last three days and I must do 2 practices today.

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