Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Three pillars of misery

It is so hot in Toronto, unbelievable, yesterday almost 40° C and today 36° C. I don't like the heat very much, so my AC is working all the time. I did 6th yoga practice today and I sweat a lot, losing almost 1kg during the practice.

At the beginning of June I replaced old zmark.ca blog with new Self-Realization (zmark.online) static web site and added daily life blog section there believing the static web site would be faster and more easily retrievable from the google search engine.

But that was not happen. No one really visit Self-Realization web site. All clicks are from this blog. And this blog went from 425 facebook likes to 413. That may happened because I am not writing anymore articles about ashtanga yoga or whatever... but who cares?

The truth is I have nothing to do. I have no ambition, nowhere to go, no one to be or become. I don't need to distract myself from anything or convince myself of anything. There is nothing that I think isn't as it should be, and I have no interest in how you see me. I have nothing to guide me except my own comfort or discomfort. I don't seem to be too bored or unhappy about it.

The search for happiness is the first pillar of misery.

My happiness is not reliant upon your approval or acquisition of something new or something different. I have stopped constantly chasing, attaining, pleasing and profiting. My search for happiness is ended.

Of course, my primary goal in writing this is to help express my particular brand of bullshit! I pay attention to writing these words and if I laugh while I'm writing the posts, that is even better.

I experience delight when I create new post and watch visitor stats increase. Yes, my writing is a source of inspiration, joy, gratitude, and hope. Sometimes I write a new post with great expectation that readers, my colleagues, family, and friends will like it. And then I get disappointed because my post hit hard bottom in click-number.

The second pillar of misery is expectation.

I became aware that my writing and thinking skills, and my creativity, sarcasm, and humor are not what all people understand and appreciate. So I have stopped writing what others wish. Well, everything, but particularly the bad things, the frustrating things, and the irritating things are part of life.

I'm trying to write without expectations, 5 visitors or 1000, on the end what really I have from that?

But the expectations significantly influences how I'll perceive circumstances. The things are as they are, emotionally neutral if I don’t explicitly set out my expectations.

Take a moment considering your own view of happiness... Is happiness more of a fleeting emotion or permanent state of your being?

At the end of the day, you deserve a life full of positive well-being, goodness, meaning, and worth. That’s what happiness is all about. But if you look at others and compare yourself to them you'll never find satisfaction.

Looking into others and comparing yourself to them is the third pillar of misery.

I was conditioned to mirror myself against other people, to seek happiness in relationships. But I realized, in a gradual manner, that people are not things to fulfill any void or boredom in my life. Their job is not to make me happy – they are struggling with the same problems just as I do.

I look at others without thinking they are enjoying their lives and achieving something important. I'm not jealous at anyone, quite opposite, I feel sorry for the most of people. I have stopped comparing myself to them, I wished them luck and I leave them alone.

You see, when you think of happiness, you often mean the experience of wonderful emotions like joy or delight. You may consider a relief to be happiness too. Or well-being, or the experience of contentment combined with a sense that your life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile...

Well it is not like that at all. Joy, delight, relief, well-being, contentment are the building blocks of you as an individual but you don't recognize it. You're too busy to see it. As a consequence your happiness is a temporary state of mind - the state of mind between two sorrows.

Ask yourself... Are you miserable because of your circumstances, or are your circumstances miserable because of you?

Song of the day... Fool Like You by Kovacs



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