Sunday, September 20, 2020

The dog died, can we still keep it?

The removal of emotional garbage!

Today, I had the biggest disappointment of my life. It is related to my narcissist ex girlfriend. She promised to come over to my place and she did not. I'm disgusted with her pathological lying. I did not bother to reply on her bullshit explanation. I've blocked her phone numbers on my cell. I'll not mention her again on this blog and I'm not going to unblock her ever again.

I will not be in contact with any former girlfriends anymore and that includes my ex wife too. I have made decision to proceed into new life clean from past emotional baggage.

At one point of time, each one of my exes was the one who occupied every waking moment of my life. I shared my daily whereabouts with them and life before meeting them seemed unreal. But then, differences came up and the very person whom I adored became the outsider of my life.

Relationships rarely end well, but sometimes they end just okay that I thought I could afford to keep the ex in my life in a semidetached way. I thought of them as a remote, nonthreatening reminder of something that has passed. And since my feelings are not strong, I thought I could text them without doing any emotional damage.

But now, as an unattached observer, I see that all those relationship ended so it's very hard to know where they really fit into my life. I put myself in the we can still be friends situation, something like saying the dog died, but we can still keep it.

With Angela I and Angela II, with narcissistic ex, with my ex wife I was in texting and phone calls connection because I wanted to keep in touch, but in reality I don't care to hear about their daily life. 

We have nothing to offer to each other, there is no emotional pull, and attraction has faded away. I see now that the dog is really dead but I wanted to keep it and that was my mistake.

Breakups happen for a reason. Those relationships did not work and it will never work. So, as of today, I decided to move on from all of them. I wish them well.

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