Monday, October 19, 2020

About Sex (under lock down)

This morning, my narcissistic ex girlfriend sent me a message saying she does not believe in love anymore. As far as I understood the message, she probably broke up with her boyfriend. I told her that I love her and everything going to be fine. But what that means to a woman who does not believe in love? Not much. I know her very well, in two days she will get back to her boyfriend.

Today was a lazy day for me. I slept almost all day, I went for a walk to Bloor street and I had a large Starbucks coffee around 7 pm so that means I will not go to sleep for a long time. I may even do midnight yoga practice. Good idea.
But before that I feel inspired for some writing. I decided to write about sex which is now under lock down just like the rest of our present life. I’ll be as brutally honest as I can, a bit funny and sarcastic. I would like that you laugh but also I apologize if this spoils your mood.

Before I start I would give a disclaimer: My thought about sex is based, of course, on my experience and opinion, including but not limiting to my careful observation of other human species. So let's start...

Sex won’t make you happy

I could easily say “happiness comes from within” and even though it’s true, I will not mention it. People prefer dreams instead of reality. Sex is unpredictable so along the road a dream could easily become a nightmare.

Whatever your goals are, whether it’s casual sex or having a sex as a culmination of being in love... there’s a high possibility that once you get what you want, it all instantly loses its value.

I like sushi, so one day I went with my friend to “all you can eat sushi” for $23.99, I was thrilled to my very core. However, just as I started my 5th spicy salmon hand role, with an aching stomach and dry throat, I had realization: once an element loses its scarcity, its value decreases.

The same thing applies for sex. If you're getting it everywhere and all the time it won't make you happy. But let’s be honest, many of those who have a lot of sex often say that it’s all sunshine and rainbow from below, but from above, when you finish sex, it's a different story. There are sleepers and walkers. Men after sex either like to sleep or just walk away. There you go.

One partner is too boring

There’s a real reason why people cheat.

We already know that during sex we have all kinds of imagination going on in our head, which often leads to a great orgasm. The fact that we’re rolling on our imagination and fantasizes especially before climax regardless of how much we love our partner is a fact. We always cheat. However, we often forget that our partner does the same thing as well.

The ugly truth here... this gives "being in love" to be less value than wild sexual encounter, one which we often forget to appreciate while we still have time. Anyone who is in long term relationship will understand this.

Sex, love and the irony of it

Isn’t it ironic, the one you dream about is the very reason you can’t sleep. The person you dream about at night, the person you’re investing all your time in, the person you want to move in with, the person who promised to never leave you, and the person who knows you better than your own family might (any day) turn into the reason you can’t sleep.

Apart from a minor exception, we’re all, to some extent, sexually selfish personas. No matter how much you love someone, being in relationship means your partner will only come to you or call you or text you, when they need you. Perhaps it’s sex, the most of time is the sex, but it can be consolation, favor, or even advice. The sad part here is once the need is over and the deed is done, they’ll, more often than not, forget you.

And when break up happen, you can always blame your father and mother for your horrible childhood. You might voice at a top of your mouth that they could have done a much better job. Be sure that your own children will blame you for the same thing. A generation later, your son will blame you for his horrible childhood.

Often we blame our parents for numerous things, but then we make the same mistakes when we become parents, realizing what we have done only when it’s too late to make changes.

Sometimes, you’ll hate yourself after sex

Let’s face it, change is the only constant. We all change at a certain point in our lives. We become better, we learn more and we improve, transcending to a better version of ourselves. However, what about the sexual mistakes of the past?

It is a human quality to make mistakes, however, sometimes our mistakes become so heavy that it kills us. A guy married to a woman who gained 20 pounds during a "wonderful" marriage, a women attracted to a guy with a small dick, or whatever...

Love becomes impossible in such situations where we are the culprit, perhaps deserving someone else but not giving it to. We like to suffer and blame others while we hate ourselves after sex.

Thank you for reading. I have run out of my time, I hope it was worth your time. Have a good night!


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