Thursday, October 15, 2020

This made my day...

They lived happily ever after but not together.

I am just listening Love Story song on YouTube and I want to puke. Do you remember it, the words go something like this... Where do I begin, to tell the story of how great a love can be, the sweet love story that is older than the sea, the simple truth about the love she brings to me... where do I start?

Ha, the question should not be where to start but where to end? If it does not end with and they lived happily ever after together (forever), nothing less than that, is consider as a sad outcome.

I remember Anna Karenina story. In the beginning it was like a ferry tale, but even she knew there are no such thing as tooth fairy, she still believed in the idea that Vronsky was the love of her life, and they have to remain forever or else their love didn’t count.

Do you believe there is only one person out there, who is right for you? So far, I have not met a perfect couple, all I know is that partners fight for years — only to split up on the end. In most cases, it wasn’t even anyone’s fault but rather they grew apart by finding out that they no longer suited for each other.

My now, ex girlfriend did not text me or call me. Oh well, I cannot even call her a girlfriend, it was just one night stand. She is still very much offended and that tells a lot about her. Well, goodbye, dream other dreams darling. It does not matter to me is it good-bye, bad-bye, awful-bye or couldn't-care-less-bye, what matters is... it is forever.

My daughter is moving out from her mother.

Today after work, at 5pm, I picked up my daughter, I drove her here to High Park and we looked apartments for rent. She has decided to leave her mother and start living on her own. I am supporting her in every way that I can but it is not easy. I did not sleep well last night I was thinking is the move in this situation really right thing to do.

She is 26 but in my opinion she is not yet ready to live fully independent life. She is right in one way, she cannot learn to live alone if she does not try...

We have found nice, large one bedroom apartment, the second street from my condo and she will take it. I will give her some additional money and she will be okay financially.

The Absolute and the Consciousness.

Tonight, I left to bed at 9 pm, I read my notebook and I fall asleep at 10, Woke up at 11:30 pm and now I am drinking a coffee. I want to give you just one passage from those notes... Here we go, this is what I am reading, studying, contemplating, every night before sleep:

The Absolute cannot be experienced. It is not an objective affair. Total unicity does not have any witnessing at all. Any manifestation is in duality where witnessing happens. There has to be subject and object, they are two, but they are not two, they are two ends of the same thing.

When consciousness stirs duality arises. There are billions of objects, but each object, when it sees another object, assumes subjectivity of the Absolute, although it is an object. I, as an object, perceive and interpret all the other objects, and I assume I am the subject, and he witnessing takes place.

Consciousness stirs without any reason, any cause, spontaneously, it happens. That consciousness is universal, there is no individuality. But when consciousness stirs in particular form which has also arisen spontaneously, and it starts functioning in that form, that form assumes that is individual and what is unlimited limits itself to a particular form and all trouble starts.

Duality arises when consciousness arises. I am and I know I am present - that is duality. I am and I am not conscious of being present - that is unicity. There is only one, but when this consciousness presence is there, then there is a sense of duality.

There is no liberation because there is nothing to be liberated. The knowledge realize that is it knowledge - that is all that happens. You are not body, you are not the words; when knowledge recognizes this it is called Self-Realization.

Consciousness, as it is used here as a word, is this sense of being alive, of being present, the sense of existence. It is the love of being that is the source and cause of desires.

Understand this teaching thoroughly, intuitively, beyond words, but also understand that that very understanding can be of no use to you, because it is at the level of consciousness and consciousness is illusory happening. Self-Realization happens suddenly. When it does happen you will realize the identity of the non-manifest and the manifest, they are one, there is no difference.


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