Life is a lemon ask for your money back!

I am 50 something...and listen, after 50 things are weird

In 20s you hope something will come.

Whatever life you have, in 30s you are always talking about truth. Whatever you occupy yourself with, you think that it leads somewhere, moves you toward some goal, that there is meaning in it.

When you rich 40s, you think you already know so many "truths", like it were toilet paper or something and you got a supply in the closet.

But what you learn, as you go beyond 50, is there ain't no truth. You clearly see that the meaning, once you cherished so preciously, is just a creation of your imagination where everything is real...  but not true.

In 50s you are no longer certain what your purpose is

Your relatives and friends start disappearing from your life. Seeing the dear people vanishing from your world, you may feel somewhat alienated, what drove you in the 30s and 40s no longer drives you in 50s.

Yup, all there is is a bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life after 50, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that's your bullshit, so to speak...

What I have learned so far, in a gradual manner with lot of mistakes, is that by being alone I have left the ordinary life behind and that I must adopt a new way of life if I am going to survive. I have to be a warrior, to proceed strategically, with a great care for my well being.

To live alone is something big in the art of living

The frightening nature of being divorced leaves me no alternative but to choose with whom I share my time. I realized that my death is the only friend that will be with me until the end. Without the awareness of death I am just an ordinary, complaining man involved in daily activities without sense.

Everything what I will do from now on will be a folly in regard to myself and my world because nothing matters. Certain things in people's life matter to them because they feel they are important. For me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts nor the acts of anyone that I know. Really, it doesn't matter to me that nothing matters.

Do not believe a word I say. Experiment on yourself. You do not have to go anywhere. Just where you are right now, begin to spend time diving within yourself, watching your life, witnessing your own bullshit.

We should die in our mind, while we're still alive, not unconsciously in a hospital bed

If we make ourselves deprived of illusions, imagination and hopes - if we are deprived of our interests, cares and expectations - our world would collapse, we would become empty, hopeless and alone. It is the right place to be, a great start in right direction of dying into mind.

This would be the death of "us", the death of everything it consisted of, the destruction of all our bullshit collected through ignorance and inexperience. All experiences will remain in us merely as material, but subject to evaluation. Then we will be able to choose for ourselves and not what others  have imposed on us. We will have the conscious choice.

...and this is what we need to know.

The life is a dream, our dream, our show 

When we demand nothing of the world when we want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then LIFE will come to us uninvited and unexpected.

It is our world. There is no one else here, just us, and nothing is being withheld from us. We are completely on our own. Everything is available to us.

No one else has anything we need. No one else can lead us, pull us, push us or carry us. No one else is necessary to our happiness.

The life is our dream because we are asleep, we can wake up. If we understand that, we will understand that this is the best news we could possibly receive. 😉