You could tell, I'm proud of my new watch

Good morning my friends. It is 5 am, Tuesday morning I woke up one hour ago and got up rested, I'm waking up and having a coffee now. I am going to do meditation and yoga before I start work. I feel great. Yes, sometimes I write here about my dissatisfaction with life, bragging about laziness, belly fat etc... but the fact is, I'm fond of my life.

I love my life. Not having dark feelings I feel light and happy. My personality or what is left of that is slowly fading away. And that's great...

I put this photo today to show you this beautiful watch I got from my girlfriend as a birthday present. My birthday is in 2 weeks. She sent me the present via amazon.com with really nice words. 

I was not accustom to receive gifts. I don't even remember I got any after my divorce. My friends bought me a present for my 50th birthday and that's was it. It is usually me to buy presents to others while they never gave me anything. 

I'm not self-pity, I just state things as they are. 

In my life I'm lead by my inner feelings much more than by my mind. My intuition is my ability to understand something immediately, without the need for thinking. I have this direct perception of things as they are, seeing the facts independent of my wishes and reasoning.

My intuition is a definite telling me if things are right and much more often that things aren't right. I can certainly say, I am blessed in my life. I have this alertness to correct my path, avoid toxic people, and avoid harmful circumstances in my life.

I live life with inner guidance and I trust my intuition fully even sometimes I cannot explain it.

In my life I met three self-realized persons. I say "persons" because it is a matter of speech but they are not "persons". What I noticed about all of them is a kind of warm coldness in their interactions with others. They are all compassionate but if you look closely they are not really attached to the stories they hear.

But lets go slowly. I'm having a coffee, outside is dark, snow has melted. It is an ideal setting for a post about different paths of spiritual journey. My own journey started on January, 1, 2002.

On that day I, I went with my ex wife and some friends to the ZAM restaurant for a dinner, it was celebration of the New Year. When we were returning home I was driving and then just before our condo we saw enormous planet in front of our eyes. Maybe it was the moon, it was in waning phase but it was magnificent.

When we came home I could not sleep. I went on the net and randomly searched pages and I stumble upon Emerald Tablets of Thoth, The Atlantean.  I read it but I did not understand anything, but kind of light appear in left corner of my eye. It was there in front of me for quite some time.

It is then that I decided to become a saint. Next day I started reading about it and now after 20 years here I am. In these20 years I had all kind of experiences, I completely lost my mind couple of times (well in 2010 I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder) but I will not about my experiences. They are interesting but they have no real value in the process of awakening.

As I said, in this period, I have met three saints. In March 2002 I bought a large LED TV and I got rid of my old TV and when I was doing that, there, outside, beside the condo's garbage bin, was my first spiritual teacher - Zen Master Jim Marshal. He was a caretaker of my condo, a superintendent.

I remember as it was yesterday, he was smoking, joking with some neighbors and I was coming caring the TV and I said... no more CNN! He laughed and we started talking. We talked a lot during period of 10 years. He never revealed itself for what he is, but as time was passing and I was "improving" I saw he understands everything what I am passing through.

It is difficult for me to describe him. There was no "man" in him, no "posture" no strict rules just laughter and numerous stories about life. He never disagreed with me, he never gave me advice. Last time I saw him after my divorce and when I moved to High Park I never saw him again.


In September 2005, my friend from work was going to meet a saint from India, Maa Sarweshwari He asked me to join him. I did. When I met her for the first time, when she entered the room, it was like blanket has covered my mind. I was without thoughts.

I visited her with my ex wife after that and I was talking with her about various things. Well, she did not talk but she replied on my questions by writing in her pad. She gave me a lot of advises and even she gave me one dollar bill, which I still keep, for prosperity. She liked me a lot, my friend is in touch with her all these years and she regularly asking for me, how I am doing. I did not see her again.


In May 2006 was the Yoga Conference in Toronto. I started yoga and I practiced it at home since 2005 so big yoga names were coming and I decided to go for a class with Dharma Mittra  It was Siddha Sadhana class with just sun salutation flow for entire class. First time in my life I practiced yoga with a music and it was unbelievable.

The class was so difficult but the music, energy from the teacher and the energy in the room carried me forward to the end. I had the best shavasana ever, after the class I was in heaven. I decided to take two more classes with him.


It is 5:45 am now and I am going to do practices. I am continuing my sainthood path. Enjoy your day.