I Will Achieve It...

Today is All Saints Day

All Saints' Day is a dignified remembrance that celebrates the honor of all saints, whether known or unknown. If it is up to me, I would make this day to be a federal holiday. Who is a saint? You are my friend. Once there is no more personality, you are a saint. That is your final destination, the goal of all your numberless births. Sainthood isn't given by a church or any religious leader. It's granted to you by your own dedication. 

My spiritual journey started on January, 1, 2002.

On that day I went with my ex and some friends to a dinner at ZAM restaurant in Toronto, it was celebration of the New Year. When we were returning home I was driving car and then just before our condo I saw enormous planet, right there, in front of my eyes. Maybe it was moon, but I checked it was not a full moon, that night the moon was in waning phase. What I saw that night was magnificent.

When we came home I could not sleep. I went on the net and randomly searched pages and I stumble upon Emerald Tablets of Thoth, The Atlantean.  I read it but I did not understand anything, but some kind of light appear in left corner of my eye. It was there in front of me for quite some time.

I, THOTH, the Atlantean, master of mysteries,
keeper of records, mighty king, magician,
living from generation to generation,
being about to pass into the halls of Amenti,
set down for the guidance of
those that are to come after,
these records of the mighty wisdom of Great Atlantis.

It is then that I decided to become a saint.

Next day I stepped on my spiritual path and now after 20 years here I am.

In these 20 years I had all kind of experiences, I completely lost my mind couple of times (well in 2010 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder) but I will not about my experiences. They are interesting but they have no real value in the process of awakening.

Today is All Saints Day, so far, I met three Saints. What I noticed about all of them is a kind of warm coldness in their interactions with others. They are all compassionate but if you look closely they are not really attached to the stories they hear.

In March 2002 I bought a large LED TV and I got rid of my old TV and when I was doing that, there, outside, beside the condo's garbage bin, was my first spiritual teacher - Zen Master Jim Marshal. He was a caretaker of my condo, a superintendent.

I remember as it was yesterday, he was smoking, joking with some neighbors and I was coming caring the TV and I said... no more CNN! He laughed and we started talking. We talked a lot during period of 10 years. He never revealed itself for what he is, but as time was passing and I was "improving" I saw he understands everything what I am passing through.

It is difficult for me to describe him. There was no "man" in him, no "posture" no strict rules just laughter and numerous stories about life. He never disagreed with me, he never gave me advice. Last time I saw him was after my divorce and when I moved to High Park I'd never seen him again.

In September 2005, my friend from work was going to meet his teacher from India Maa Sarweshwari He asked me to join him. I did. When I met her for the first time, when she entered the room, it was like some dark, heavy blanket has covered my mind. I was without thoughts completely.

I visited her with my ex wife after that and I was talking with her about various things. Well, she did not talk but she replied on my questions by writing in her pad. 

She gave me a lot of advises and even she gave me one dollar bill, which I still keep, for prosperity. She liked me a lot, my friend is in touch with her all these years and she regularly asks for me, how I am doing. 

In May 2006 was the Yoga Conference in Toronto. I started yoga and I practiced it at home since 2005 so big yoga names were coming and I decided to go for a class with Dharma Mittra  It was Siddha Sadhana class with just sun salutation flow for entire class. First time in my life I practiced yoga with a music and it was unbelievable.

The class was so difficult but the music, energy from the teacher and the energy in the room carried me forward to the end. I had the best shavasana ever, after the class I was in heaven. I decided to take two more classes with him.


Yesterday was Halloween (a day before All Hallow) and then comes All Saints Day. The suffix "een" is an abbreviation of "evening." Halloween refers to the night, bad things, horrors, suffering etc. It is the eve of All Hallows, the night before All Saints' Day, the day that honors saintly people of the past. They are my guidance and my light in this world.