In this pandemic times nobody is actually looking into data from the condom industry that had 14% drop in sales in 2020. Unofficial sources told me they will apply for government bail out. That makes me wonder...

Why are we all having so little sex?

I'm looking at myself, I had just one night of sex in this year. Unbelievable. Me, the great lover, all those women from match.com, Bumble and Tinder and nothing, no fuck in 2021! The great winner of prestigious Pickup Artist book and a student of generation from my friend's dating university, me, had just one night stand in three months.

How can this be? After all, we're living in the era when we’ve finally torn down many sexual barriers. The social stigma around premarital sex is gone, hookups are not considered shameful, and the belief in limiting partners is no longer universal.

In January, I met couple times a woman, 52 years old, and we had a dinner at my place. We were kissing and all that, but when I told her lets go to the bedroom she shocked me. She told me, she has no sex in 5 years and she is not into it anymore. Well, that was a last time I have seen her.

The slowdown in fucking doesn’t seem to be isolated for my generation of 50 plus. Nearly 30% of 18 to 29 year olds have reported in recent pool that they're having no sex at all, an almost 50% rise over those who were celibate in 2000.

Looking at the middle aged people, Jean Twenge, professor of psychology, San Diego State University wrote a paper for the Archives of Sexual Behavior about the sexual downturn in young people, he said that married people have more sex than single people of the same age.

Married people get it on more than their single folks because they’re already have someone in bed who is willing to have sex with them. The supply side of the equation is solved, only wish for sex remains a mystery.

Married people are falling down on the job too. Pandemic boredom is taking sex off the table entirely. A lot of tension and anxieties between married couples stems from the feeling that any kind of sensual touch will have to lead eventually to full sex. So they are applying a "ban" on sex in order to remove this anxiety, so they focus on friendship enjoying being intimate again without having to worry about sex later. (I know what do you think...just excuses).

Married couple do the pandemic sex, something like "maintenance" sex. Maintenance sex is essentially “not really in the mood but let’s do it anyway”. It is planned in advance, they do it, thinking about someone or something else, but they do it. However, anything we feel like we "have to do" drains our energy. So no surprise that married couples so often feel too tired for sex.

What we’ve seen with singles and with people in relationships, even those living with a partner, is that sexual frequency is declining and has continued to decline over the course of the pandemic,” explains Kristen Mark, Joycelyn Elders Chair in sexual education at the University of Minnesota medical school. “Certainly, for single people, it’s related to the fact that, if you don’t have a viable sexual partner in your current bubble, then you’re probably going to be engaging in far less sexual behavior outside of masturbation.

Simple enough.