Good afternoon, good evening and good night... yeah!

I did my 15th practice in April now. This morning, I logged in at work at 7 am and I worked until 2 pm. I had first yoga practice today at 8 am and now I'm finally done, 15 Half Primary Ashtanga Yoga practices in April.

 

April was difficult month, I had a nice start but then I got lazy and every week I had a lot of days without practice. In the first 25 days I had 8 practices and in the last 5 days 7 practices. This is telling me that I am lazy and undisciplined. 

 


I have to do different approach in May. Early morning yoga and then afternoon strength exercise. That's will be my goal for the May. 

My girlfriend wanted to come tonight but I told her I will be tired and it is true. I am very tired from these 7 practices. Each practice takes 45 minutes and it is hard and strenuous for my body. Fortunately I have no injures.

She is a bit upset but what can I do. I told her for tomorrow, she said she is working tomorrow. Oh well. My practice is more important to me than dating.

Living is a continual process of explanations, translations and conceptualization. From morning till night, and from night till morning, we never ceases to consider and worry except in dreamless sleep. That is what life is, and it is nothing but that, for we never stop considering others.

Despite appearances to the contrary, nothing is done by anyone of us, for we're just and only a phantoms, a dream-figures. I as "I" cannot wake up, simply I'm not there at all as such.

Living is dreaming. I as a 'dreamer' identified with my body and mind, snore loudly. I am the dreamer of myself in the world of my own creation, and my body is just an appearance.

I'm no entity so  I can not awaken, it is my identification with thoughts that causes the illusion of matrix.

Awakening is disappearing, dissolving, vanishing of "me" as a person. Awakening is the dissolution of appearance, the evaporation of "my" dream. Awakening is the dis-appearance of "my" world.

Nothing can help me to awaken and yet there is awakening and this practice... physical, hard, sweaty and boring and there is no better place for the practice than here and no better time than now. I am about to do everyday yoga in May.

... my Truman show is ending.